cHeRiSh LuV cHeRiSh

Officially moved!!

2009-09-29T23:43:00.001+08:00

I hereby announced that i have officially moved my blog to the address below:

www.musingbyning.wordpress.com

Cheers!~

~NinG~

Tiring work & more updates..

2009-08-24T23:00:00.004+08:00

August is a very very busy month. I am so so so glad that its gg to be over soon. This week is the last week of August.. hopefully this will mark the end of my hectic working schedule... sept is gg to be relatively relaxing becos i got no rooms to sell since school term has started. Great! Doesnt sound too good for a sales person BUT hey no comm leh.... so nvm lah. Im sick & tired of the internal politics and uncooperative working attitudes of certain ppl anyway. SIghz .. wat to do.. still gotta work.. Basically i still like my job, just that alot of constraints and uncooperativeness from different areas making it hard to tolerate. But like i say sept is gg to be relatively quiet for me. Time to balance it out abit.

Enuf of work.. beside it being tiring and frustrating at times.. i guess there are still tons of complaints that i dun tink i wan to flood the whole of this entry. Hhhaahaha. Work will pass.. the torture will pass.. i juz have to endure...

Mummy & daddy juz came back fr Tw last week.. (i tink so.. or was it laz laz wk?) hmmm , anyway i wan to travel too!! I think my sis and her fat hubby is gg turkey end of this year too.. Why is everyone travelling without ME!!! *POUT* sianzzz...

Maybe i shld save up more.. was planning to go TW with ah ngai next year.. We muz upgrade from BKK to TW. My mum says i would have lotsa things to buy there.. Keke.... muz save up for a new lappy too.. my lappy is realllllyyyyy sllooowwww in looooaddingggg... It seems like it is gg to crash anytime anyday... despite the "n" time i have reformated it. hahaha CHUI alr lah.. seriously.

Now that i rem.. i din blog abt my bday! yaaa all the celebrations are posted in FB alr... so i guess it sum it up.. this year's theme is sweet, simple & cosy.. simply have small celebration with diff grp of frens. Nuttin fanciful but cosy!~ Love of my pressies.. from my coach small wallet from boo, to the Lancome makeup from rick & geri, dior limited edition brush set from val & the zhss gals, to ah ngai sweet "hamper-like" small gifts and the ang bao money the rest of the gals have given to the skirts and accessories from the office peeps. All gifts are greatly appreciated.. thank u very much once again the thoughtful pressies & well-wishes. =)

Some more updates, mainly crazily in love Ethan Ruan- (Ruan jing tian) becos of the show: Ming zhong zhu ding wo ai ni (Fated to love you).. SHUAI!~ keke.. Anyway, i think blogger is getting very lousy! Is it becos of my lappy or wat? The whole page does not load properly... got alot of error messenge somemore. I am seriously comtemplating to change to wordpresss.. yes yes i am a late bloomer i know.. haha but im too lazy to learn the new application and adopt to new changes.. MAybe i shld really do it.. Grr..

============================================================

Boo's mum sent me this forwarded sms very long ago.. like last year? I think it's pretty meaningful so i kept it in my msg inbox till now.. Time to share this little msg..

A meaning messenge:

人在成长的过程中，难免遇到挫折
懂得保护自己也要懂得爱自己
生命的乐章看你自己如何去谱写
躲避不一定躲得过
面对不一定最难受
得倒不一定能长久
失去不一定不再有
转身不一定最软弱
别急着说别无选择
别以为世上只有对与错
许多事情的答案都不只一个
所以我们永远有路可以走
你能找到理由难过
也一定能找到快乐
懂得放心的人找到轻松
懂得遗忘的人找到自由懂得关怀的人找到朋友

==============================================================
虽然有点难过有朋友没有记得我的生日不过我也明白每一个人在不同的人心里或生活里都有不同的位置和重要性。所以，我不可能是每个人的公主/好朋友或知己。。大家只要开心幸福就好。虽然不常联络不代表我不关心，所以一定要幸福哦！
===============================================================

Happy Advanced Birthday to my dearest Bro kevin, Charbor Cindy &　Her bf　＃!＃~

After so many years, the scars are still there

2009-07-26T13:01:00.000+08:00

It is pretty amazing that some "scars" will always stay..even after so long... Tt's my "not very dark secrets" but not alot of ppl know is that i hated my sec sch days.. Though i do have wonderful girlfrens (Yes i do, juz tt i dun hang out with them THAT often) fr sec sch till now, i seriously dun have nice memories of those long forgotten days. It's also probably the only time that i hang out and talk to most of the girls in a gathering than to the guys.. hahahaha. I used to be UGLY.. and i seriously meant FUGLY in fact. Pimples, glasses, braces.. yes i had them all. I was always tease, always bullied and we cant blame guys at that age becos they are well... CHILDISH. hahahah but you expect them to grow up after all these years.. and POOF! 10 years passed. And did they changed? I guess some did, and some din...

I was never in the "top catergory" in zhss, im not pretty (although i got pretty gfs and in the popular clique), im not rich(and i actually thinks that my family is above average alr compare to ppl i noe), im not smart (mind you most of them went to JCs then local uni or private ones). Im just OUT of range. BUt hey i can get into a JC, im muz clarify.. i juz din bother to apply cos i noe it doesnt suit me. And i am a deg grad now, aint i? So most ppl want to make it big, the ppl i noe fr zhss are idealist i supposed. Make lotsa money, drive big cars, own country club memberships, got pretty gfs.. the likes of life. Cool.. if you got the ability. but i belive we shall all work within our means, and not belittle others who probably like myself cant make it big, but we work hard for our living. Anything wrong with that? I am so surprise when Bren asked me laz nite why i am doing "sai kang" in SMU..and wat's my pay like. My pay is in fact no secret to many many of my frens. But i feel like im earning so little and the inferior complexity seap in and i kept my mouth shut.

Anyway, its supposed to be confidential im not obliged to say anything! BUt it's his tone lah. bloody hell. Like i say, all these years, even when there are times i feel that my life is perfect- i got a loving family, a wonderful bf of 6 yrs, frens tat love me for who i am, a job (which means i got stable income) and WHY the hell does the inferior feeling seaped in so deeep within me whenever i see them. Its like a scar that can never be remove..never. Even when im pretty sure i look MUCH better (with contact lens, straighten teeth and blemish free complexion),i dun expect and wan them to say im prettier than before. i guess i wan respect. respect for who i am. Its wierd, they are the only ppl and with such gatherings are the only times i feel so unloved. PPl always tell me how lucky i am, everyone i go, ppl dotes on me and love me for who i really am. My poly frens, uni frens, ex colleagues....I wont say im a wonderful person, but i am a great fren to many.

I just want to say, i wanna stay proud of myself, no matter if im not as smart, as rich, as pretty. But i do have smarter, richer, prettier, more handsome frens in my social circle that surpassed them and it makes me feel good. Hhahaha!!! i thank all the other ppl in my life that makes me feel more worthwhile, there r so many of u.. u noe who u r, although the scars are still there after a decade.. Thank u. =)

一本书的魅力

2009-05-25T22:03:00.002+08:00

一边读着，泪水也一边在自流。我一直都觉得文字是很奇妙的东西，它能不直觉的让人感受到平时不会经常感受到的情绪。眼泪流了，心痛了。就这样一本爱情小说昨晚让我狠狠的哭了。不知道为什么就因为太感动了吧。现实生活中哪来的刻苦铭心? Anyway, its very hard to summarise the storyline plus most ppl will think that its too absurd。就是那种爱的很凄美却很伟大的爱-小说中的爱情。也不懂为什么会哭得那么汹，就觉得故事里的主角为爱所做的真的是太感人了。超越了生死。总之就是很touching就对了。

有人趁说过我不懂得去爱，只懂得自私的接受人家给的爱。我并没有否认。
也有人说过不管你在外头闹最想念也最终回到的那个怀抱是你心底最爱的。
最该爱那个最懂你的那一个才是幸福的。累了那熟悉的气息是最温暖的，对吧?

不自觉的想太多了。我祝你幸福，所以一定要幸福哦！

Y do i feel that it's diff now...?

2009-05-12T23:22:00.003+08:00

There is a change of lifestyle.. i do not know why... im home more often.. ehhh where are my frens man???? Im bored more easily... and all this cause me to be a sticky gf...WHICH i muz emphasize I AM NOT abit like tat before..AND i dun like it one bit to be a sticky gf... Wonder wat is wrong with me too... im not unhappy with life. i am juz BORED.... and life seems stagnant.. i hate this word "stagnant".

And boo now is into this insurance thingy.. i hope he is gg to do well for it, for the good of his future (and ours). But of cos i nv pressurise him.. though i alway say i wan to be a tai tai. BUt more imptly, i think to live comfortably is enuf.. not necessarily tai tai lah... We do have some differing views abt certain issues, which of cos i dun see it as quarrels.. we merely disagree. But of cos i am still one of his top priority, hee...but i seriously tink he needs to shower me with more attention.. (though im refraining to be sticky). Hey i used to love my freedom! girlfrens... pls ask me out. or stop me fr nuaing at home.

We shall see how long this phase last then.. Grrrrr....

some clients are nice..while some are NOT....

2009-04-28T22:26:00.002+08:00

On MC today... cos im too tired... having a tension headache. Actually it wasnt anything serious.. juz too tired becos have been working last sat and sun. This client has been very demanding and really tires me out with all her demands.. damn... it makes me want to cry whenever i hear my handphone rings.. While some clients are really troublesome, some are really nice... The nice one makes you feel appreciated, and the demanding makes you feel that you are really being bullied!

Sighzz.. i dun like to be "Janis".... that is the working jian ning... with surpressed emotions.. I want to be Ning... the princesss that is doted by everyone. But of cos i noe i have to grow up. hahahaa. Just met up with Yiwen juz now for his dinner. He was asking if i think he changed after working. I dun really think so. But at least he is concern with whether he has changed to another person aft he started working. I think alot of times, we changed and nobody dare to tell us.. Esp after we started working and going thru another stage in life. And most of the time we wont know if we had changed.. So i asked him if i had changed? He said that i have become quieter compared to last time.

Becos of work i think i have slightly grown up alittle hahahha.. more serious, more professional. Maybe not as vibrant as before.. 老了吧。。。Sometimes miss being alittle crazy...

Anyway, tml has to go back to work already. Time to buck up again... Where shall i find my motivation?

Random updates...

2009-04-19T13:50:00.005+08:00

Haven blog for ages. Had a great BKK shoppping trip with Yanting & Yuling.. YEAH! The whole itinery only consists of shopping and eating, & more & more shopping.... very tiring but fun at the same time. I was totally broke earlier this month becos of the trip. Gotten myself lotsa new clothes! Weet!~

Work has been busy, i guess it is a good thing. Sales figures are going upwards... good sign but i hope i can maintain it. Politics have been the usual... sometime i find it terribly irritating. I try to stay neutral although both side are treating me v well. Too good to me in fact. I rather they dun, seriously. I can tolerate the bitching but just dun pull me in. I juz wan to do my work and get things done ya. The big difference abt "HERE" (my current work place) and all the previous companies i worked before is apparently i am not exactly forging a very close relationship with them. Dun click lah. Talking abt close relationship, i met up with my Rochester groupies last week for Japanese steamboat as it is also Yew Meng's farewell.. He is gg to work in China with his darling. Miss their fun & laughters and gotten some updates abt how the company has been for the past mths.

Had KTV session with jess & kevin las wk too and lyly join us after the session for some chill out tea time... Planning for steamboat + mahjong session with yt,yl,ch and lyly. Besides all these, life has been pretty boring... haven been drinking for some time as i was seriously broke aft the bkk trip. Dont really feel like drinking anyway. Sorry Melson! I have been "missing" for awhile. hahah. Juz feel pretty bored. i dun really feel like gg out either. Boo is studying for his exams so not much time for me too. I am so bored that i keep calling him until i am oso starting to find myself a nuisance. I am never the sticky kind as you all know. BUt i cant help it. im juz bored lah. and i dun want to spend $$ & go out. hahah. Basically nuttin interest me much, and keep my attention for long. So you noe what he did? He bring over the series of fast & furious (Part 1-3) DVDs to my hse so that i can keep myself occupied. hahahah he noes im so crazy over vin diesel and paul walker lah. As always, my love for bad boys with a good heart.

I will probably get myself more occupied once i go register and get myself a booth at the SAM (spore art museum) flea mkt. It is more of occuping time and being "productive" with my accessories parts & bits than really making money from the flea. Well, of cos i hope to earn some bucks from there. But it is mainly to clear stock seriously.

Will keep everyone updated if i manage to get a booth so can come and support me & yanting!

BORED....

遗憾

2009-03-19T21:20:00.002+08:00

遗憾，是求学时没有认真念书，所以现在不成才。
遗憾，是自己好高骛远，以为自己很了不起。
遗憾，是忘了现实的残酷。
遗憾，是从来没有一件事有认真的用心做过。
遗憾，是太过被保护的后果。
遗憾，是有些决定在做的时候以为是正确的。
遗憾，是没有信心把自己决定做的事做好。
遗憾，有些人没有陪自己很久，不过能相识已经是种缘分和福气。
遗憾，有些人因为太了解所以离开；有些人却因为了解所以只需要默默的存在。
遗憾，是如果真的有一天你不再觉得我的笑话好笑，不再觉得我的吵闹是种情趣。。

人生总有很多的遗憾，我们却没能尽力把它减到最少。。

=============================================================

《一切完美》明天大结局了。

要包容不完美，才能一切完美。。。。

柯有纶：新专辑: One Day

2009-03-17T21:51:00.002+08:00

爱爱爱

不用担心

柯有纶出新专辑了。他一向来的歌比较冷门，没有这么受欢迎。喜欢他前几张专辑的“零”，“哭笑不得”。这次他一样带着摇滚式的柔情。。赞！“不要但心”的MV 是周杰伦指导的。*wink*

爱就宅一起：OST

2009-03-16T23:14:00.001+08:00

Tank:: 全世界都停电

刘力扬：一个人就好

一个人就好作词/作曲：徐旻铃编曲：郑楠演唱：刘力扬

街挤满了欢笑太不适合眼泪凑热闹快跑快寻找无人的转角不优雅时候一个人最好爱说退就退潮我松开手回忆却没放掉未来不来了地球继续绕躲回温暖的梦我一个人就好为什么越相信谁能依靠越换来又一次灵魂寂寥有没有永远再不会让心绝望的解药如果说越踏出世界一脚越不能保留住天真微笑那从今以后我一个人过就很好心很平静地跳只是寂寞潜伏像海啸突然某一秒偷袭我眼角眼泪自己擦掉我一个人很好一个人就好

都市女孩之GirLs Nite OuT!

2009-02-28T15:30:00.002+08:00

忙碌的一个礼拜最开心的时候就是星期五的到来! 跟几位girlfrens相约了去Girls Nite Out, 整个礼拜就是期待这一天。去吃晚餐然后去chill out　喝杯酒是最开心不过的事了。

是现在的都市女孩太拜金了吗还是应酬多了钱永远不够用？？是要买一个Coach 包包, 拥有一个Agnes B cardholder 或coin pouch 都已表现出我们已经长大努力赚钱了！不过，女人始终是女人最渴望的还是美丽的爱情。提到旧爱总觉得它是最美的。有朋友的支持我们女人也是可以振作起来的嘛。所以，朋友你要加油哦！

喝喝酒谈谈以往的琐碎事还是真的横怀念。像当年年少无知却开心的疯狂的玩着。是我觉得自己老了吗？我们也聊到一些以前很熟络的朋友现在也各有各的发展和生活圈子。不过，有时我还是觉得还满空虚即使有满多好朋友陪伴着。上班下班，约人去吃饭喝酒聊天。我想我该找点new hobby来充实自己的人生。不然，我不是要被闷死了吗？？？？

Gonna take a nap first before meeting val this evening.. 懒洋洋的一个星期六下午就这样给我浪费了。　

Lazy boring sundayy..

2009-02-22T16:16:00.003+08:00

Feeling boredddd on a sundayyyyy..... I slept so much yst that im having a slight headache. hahahah i can be such a pig. Duh..... life is getting boring... or maybe i cant live with simplicity? hmmm.. random random tots..

i want to (but to lazy to)....

sun-tan (cos i aint got a good figure!)
roller-blade
go chomp chomp for sting-ray & chicken wings (but no one wan to accompany me!)
open a flea mkt to sell off those hand-made accessories that i made long time ago
have a bbq & chalet (maybe for class gathering?)
feel less aimless
find a new hobby maybe?
find time to meet up with the Rochester peeps..
be less lazy...

OKay... napping time again.. BORED!

(do u understand... i dun tink u do.. cos i dont.. hmmm im wierd.. )

did i mention that i hate unfinished conversation? duh..

So i dont look like a deg grad???

2009-02-08T16:06:00.005+08:00

Feeling a little sore over a small issue.. okay let's admit it. im being petty and having an inferior complexity.. so that give me well enuf reasons to feel sore rite???
There is a casual comment that implies that i dun look like a deg grad....and was quite stunned that i am one.. Let's put it this way maybe i dont look that old to have finish my studies.. and my behaviour doesnt really showcase alot of maturity either most of the time if you see me acting cute or baby talking.. so i shld really pardon the whole issue rite? But i cant help feeling Sore about it.. thinking HEY!!! There are so many deg grads all over spore and so what is so surprising that i am one of them too????? And come'on all along i have come fr pretty good schools you noe... Hmmppzzz... OK im being petty... very petty... Hahahahahaha... But u gotta also understand that i will only behave childishly if i treat you as a fren, or someone worth being frens with.. I wont even bother showing this side of me to people i dont even bother knowing more about. So just understand my childish ways and dont expect so low of my intelligence k. I understand the comment is purely casual, harmless and totally not meant to be offensive. But STILL.. i just want to say I AM A DEG GRAD OK! I am not looking down on those who aint deg grads cos nowadays you just gotta work hard enuf to get that piece of paper. But i juz wanna prove myself to others that HEY im not as "ben" as i look ya.

Alritey... i re-read my post and i tihink i sounded angry.. well im not exactly angry.. im abit amused in fact. but nonetheless im still frens with whoever that is ....a little sore but lettin it go.. becos i noe im over reacting a little and a tad too sensitive abt it.. Grr. Well, love me or hate me then.

Cheers! (ps.. must watch benjamin buttons!)

Busy busy busy

2009-01-18T23:03:00.002+08:00

Work is getting busier.. hurr. but better than doing nuttin. Anyway, pictures & updates are mainly on facebooks nowadays. Finished watching my 《少年四大名捕》!!! Got 林峰，吳卓羲，馬國明，陳鍵鋒!! All shuai ge in HK drama scene.. Weeett!~!~~!~ Bought the dvd in mysia. hahahahah i tink my canto improved alot aft watching the show man. wahahha. And liang jing ru new song keep playing in my head. Enjoy.!

《少年四大名捕》:: Theme song:: 風暴

Liang jing ru:: 没有如果

2009 resolutons!

2008-12-28T15:00:00.002+08:00

Xmas is over... juz like that.. nuttin fantastic but well is it becos im getting older? hahahaha! ok at least i did spend with all the peeps im close with (Geri & Rick, Val & the ZHSS girls, Yanting+yuling+ caihong, the OR peeps, my family, Boo + his bros). Hmm actually also quite alot already hahahh and those lovely gifts. One year passed juz like that... from SIM to the working world. From Rochester to SMU.

2008

Student to working adult
Rochester to SMU
Closer to Boo's family
Additional family member- my brother in-law (my sis is married!)
Fav place to hang out- Liquid Gold
My 23rd Bday celebration!!!!
My social circle included alot of peeps in the 30s.. & i love them!
i realised sometimes friendship isnt abt the no of yrs u noe each other, is whether u enjoyed each other company

The UPs & the DOWNS... its finally over.. & its time to embrace the new year with new hopes.

Plans & Resolutions for 2009

Strive hard @ work- increase my sales figures
Spend less & Save more
Sayang my boo more wahahah & start planning our future once he grad & get a job
Maintain current friendships... i want my friends to be for ever....
Treat my family even better..
Be more patient & less temperamental
Dont get involved in office politics!
I want to go Japan again.... & to places like Taiwan, HK & Australia

Cant think of much anymore..Excited about my new yr getaway to KL (1-4 jan) with my boo! muz go pack my bag soon or else i wont have time to do so next wk. Anyway, currently crazy over Wilber Pan Wei Bo becos of the tw drama《不良笑花》with my forever fav Rainie Yang chen lin! Weeetttt.. Enjoy their new music videos below...

Wilber Pan Wei Bo- Zhuan ji

Rainie Yang Chen Lin- Leng Zhan

Xmas 2009

2008-12-23T23:58:00.002+08:00

Has been busy busy busy recently, din really manage to blog nor type out my wishlist. But of cos its once again my favourite time of the year. It's Christmas!~!~!~ The time to give presents to your loved ones and enjoy the festive cheers & christmas lightings.. It also marks the end of the year... Has celebrated xmas with different group of people & has loved all the gifts i received Thankiessss!.. i love this time of the year becos there are so many celebrations with diff grp of frens!~ but dunno is it the economy or is it just me... there isnt much of a christmas mood lately although im still having fun with my girls. Though the celebration and meeting up still continues like previous years. BUt there isnt so much excitement compared to last time. Nonetheless, the festive comes and go.. next will be the new year then the chinese new year. The next entry shall be my new year resolution. hhhahah... the yearly "to do list"..

Anyway, no matter which way the economy goes... we should all enjoy ourselves during this festive season!!! Merry Merry Christmas to all!

Love,

~NinG~

Who r u, thinker?

2008-11-23T12:18:00.003+08:00

U may juz be a passerby... Or u might be a fren whom i noe.. But im really curious, Who r u Thinker? R u my boo? or r u someone i noe? In fact u remind me of a fren i noe, but he says it wasnt him. Anyway, thks for the feedback. I guess i always noe wat the problem was but i tot we have attain a certain understanding of the issue alr. So its my bad.. my inconsideration and my careless words. Just a note to make, ppl who treat me include females too, diane, candida, audrey, aunty pat, geri... ANd i nv request tt from any of them.

************

我真的觉得很纳闷，虽然我很在意这个朋友的意见而且那是因为他一向来很直接-very honest & direct in his replies.　可是每次跟他谈完话后，心情还真的是很纳闷。and the conversation will be left hanging in the air. Grrr.. 总觉得没有wrap up the whole conversation nicely and give it a conclusion or ending. 我很少跟他谈话，而总是谈完都有一样的结论－就是很“不欢而散”的感觉。I wonder sometimes, why is that so??? Is it me or you??

Issuessss...

2008-11-21T23:33:00.008+08:00

Issuessssssssss..............................

1. Did I compare??

Maybe unknowingly i did, but i definitely dont mean it that way that he tinks..I have never look down on him or thinks that he is not good enough whatsoever.. He has been good.. in fact very very good for the past 5 yrs? So why does it crumple at the topic of money. And geri was just toking about $$ in one of her previous entry. Ok, let's not digress. Live within my means has always been the teaching in my family. I dont expect anyone to give me fantastic treats or presents or anything to prove that they r well capable of doing so. I like treats, but that doesnt mean i expect it from everyone. ANd i dont compare! Even if i did so unknowingly, it doesnt mean that i expect him to be like the rest. Cos we are all different!!! My apologises if my careless words have once again hurt.. But i really dont mean that other ppl are better just because they r financially more stable. It has nuttin to do with $$. Its the heart that counts. I tot he shld have known aft so many yrs. (maybe its a curse, i shldnt have wore back that ring. grrr).

2. Cosy like a 2nd home..

I think im wierd.... After i left a place and move on to a new place, i tend to go back to the old place and it feels like home.. For eg, when i was in Adecco, i was so determined to find a job elsewhere and when i finally work in Rochester, i went back to Adecco whenever i need to whine. And whenever there is a bday celebration i will be there. Now that i have moved on to SMU, im missing the peeps in Rochester and it feels like home when im back there even though i was so determined to leave the place previously. I hope i dont give ppl the wrong impression that i dont like rochester. Becos i have realised that in many cases i always complain and whine and ppl tend to think that im really not happy there. Well, that is only becos of 1 stupid incident, let me clarify that is. I left becos i wanted something different, and i realised HR isnt the thing for me. I stil love many of the ppl in Rochester. I am a princess there!! hahaha yup, it feels good that they r so nice to me.. I had so much fun on thurs nite and i still feel like part of the family.. thks Justin, Candida, Diane, Audrey & the rest of the staffs. Love them. Im still learning & adapting to my new environment, shldnt be much of a problem. Very corporate, very different fr Adecco & Roc.

3. I dont like to feel forgotten.

So many years, i have been feeling inferior. and the feeling dont go away. It probably nv will. Maybe the problem lies with me, i really do not know. Maybe im just being sensitive and petty becos with them, im NeveR ME. Becos i am Diff, i dont click in and for the past yearssssss i have been trying to fit in with my indifferences. Sometimes, im tired. Tired of being there and though not comfortable at all. im pissed becos i feel forgotten.. Why must they always make arrangements the last minute??? Why am i always not being informed?? Why cant they bothered to send an sms to see if im available instead of assuming that if im not free during a certain timing i wont be free the entire time??? Just gotta ASK! No sincerity at all, and i bet they dont bothered. But to be fair, i am guilty of not showing my concern for them also. I think i cared for my other frens more. But well, they nv open up to me either, humans are really amazing, they know when they should return the favour or reciprocate the feelings. Our lifestyles dont fit, the people i noe differ so much from who they meet. They nv understand my kind of world and likewise i can nv understand theirs. Im sorry i sounded so grouchy, but its just that i wanted to make some of my tots known.

Gosh im tired....

**************************

The Roc peepss...

I miss being young...Camp Rock! CooL!~

2008-11-16T00:30:00.002+08:00

Do you know why i love watching movies or dramas? Becos they suck you in and allow you to dream & imagine yourself as one of the character in the show. You get in the mood and the rhythm and most importantly you feel good, oh and did i mention that the lead actor Joe Jonas is pretty cute too. hahahah but he's only 18 lah.. hahah i dont dig young boys but being an eye candy is not bad. Well most shows lah i mean judging from the fact that i dont watch horror and not much thrillers. So now im trying to promote CAMP ROCK! hahah okay its another kind of High School Musical type of in house movie done by Disney. But hey, its all about singing & dancing & dreaming.... After watching, i miss being young.. being young & innocent with big dreams.. miss thinking the world outside is a beautiful place. Miss not caring a thing in the world. hahhaa anyway video on Camp Rock.

When we are young, we hope to grow up faster and feel the world. When we are getting older, we miss the times when we are young & do not have a care in the world. =)

End of 1st...starting of the 2nd wk...

2008-11-09T22:56:00.005+08:00

My 1st week is still alright.. alot of learning to do.. alot of walking around! But generally im adapting quite well to the environment there. Starting to answer enquries on my own, doing viewing on my own...etccc.. But is fun to walk around the different schools and showing people the facilities. Cool.. I am excited that im learning more and i get to do my own sales already. Though no comm but it still feels good to be able to close the deals. The only thing is that Fri is the busiest day of the week, cos we gotta do the logistic arrangements & Signages for the following week which means in the future if i cant finish i will have to stay back late or i have to come back on sat. hmmm. yup that's the only *negative -ve* thing i found. The rest are generally quite good. My team is pretty small and all older than me so once again i am the "girl girl" there. Hee =). Colleagues and managers there are all very helpful and nice. So yup im glad to be there! Feeling more Motivated for my future during bad times like this.

Hmm anyway updates for last wk was my boo's bday on the 6th- celebrated with him and his sister and cousin. And fri drinking session with "uncle justin" & "mr tan-stanley" before going down to "Phuture" to meet the girls (jess,lyly,dion & cindy) plus Liangjie for the long awaited clubbing session. But maybe becos im getting old already i din really enjoyed myself. We used to have so much fun. Too old to club! hahah i tink i really prefer chilling out somewhere or singing and drinking @ a ktv pub. Shit. im feeling so "chao lao".. hahahhaa

My last day @ OR...

2008-11-01T16:05:00.004+08:00

So fast 8 months have passed... and yesterday was my last day in OR. There are alot of memories.. though sometimes there are frustrating one but many of them are happy ones... Like all those related to food & Gossips! wahahah i will definitely miss many of them. I have grown close to many of the staffs there and became great frens with some of them too.

I will miss Aunty pat calling me and buying me lunch & tea breaks.. i will miss Justin disturbing me in the office yet sending me to work, home and to 126 whenever i need it. i will miss diane and her wine tasting session, along with candida, the 3 of us will have our mini gossip session..hahahah. i will miss audrey and adeline my lovely french ladies & our macdonald's breakfast! i will miss both MR TAN- jeffrey & stanley who always joke around with me.. I will miss Chef Reif for calling me darling hahah. I am so touched by aunty pat's gift (cost quite abit i would say), she really my godma sia.. sobsob.. and of cos Debbi the bearbear that justin give me, the mousy wrist rest from Reif and the wonderful buffet that is diane & candida's treat. THe princess feel so loved!~ Hope ever after i left nobody can replace me as "the princess of OR". Wahaha i am so bad man.. okok..

But of cos i am also happy that i am moving forward doing something that i like and suits me more. I promised to visit OR often and also to help my new HR girl whenever needed so in fact im gg back to OR next wk lorrrr.hahahha!~

Anyway im sooo excited about my new job! Im gg to be back in town!~!~ city hall city hall, SMU SMU...here i come!~

明天以后（林峰&泳儿）Canto & Chi MV

2008-10-28T23:55:00.002+08:00

My current favourite duet. Raymond Lam is so handsome- my cup of tea! hahaha. Enjoy!

Canto

Chi

Love isnt just love only

2008-10-17T23:26:00.002+08:00

i always tot that people who are crazily in love are impractical. Not that i have never been like that before but i believe that being tgt is more than just love. Ya and of cos the starting stage of any relationship is crazy hahaha i agree. Anyway, The topic came up with one of my bestie have some probs with her bf. And like i always like to say, if you are considering being tgt for long term you have to look into issues like background, lifestyles, personalities and not just feelings alone. Of cos we cant expect someone soooo compatiable and fit right into our lifestyle or have background similar to us or even personality that is a perfect match. But as much as we understand and respect the indifferences that everyone has, we also must look at how big these indifferences are and how we can cope with them. Lifestyles reflect how things are being done in a certain manner that we are accustomed to. It is hard to be changed....Well, while embracing the indifferences between couples, there is a need to understand one another's background as it explains why the party mentality about certain issues etc.

So my advice is try to solve or compromise and respect all indifferences, if cannot be done then its not healthy in the long run.

my dear fren, jiayou k, no matter what i will be here for you!

天亮了

2008-10-08T23:29:00.005+08:00

SHE 出新专辑了。请听《天亮了》。我最喜欢hebe唱的部分的歌词。歌太新了，所以SHE还没拍MV! Anyway,以下请听。

合：天亮了天亮了地球又轉一圈了世界還活生生的存在著還活著沒想到我還活著
E:穿越一場海嘯什麼滋味我終於親身體會天崩地裂筋疲力盡靈魂不在身體裡面然而萬歲萬歲終於和你有個了結
H：你一邊我一邊我們的世界最好別再重疊也別再回想那個太長太長的昨天太多愛太多淚別再這樣浪費 oh oh
合：天亮了天亮了地球又轉一圈了既然我還幸運地活著當然要全力以赴去快樂
合：天亮了天亮了世界還是好好的什麼痛都是很渺小的看太陽不是又升起來了
S：結束一段感情當然不像搬個家那麼方便太多細節太多碎片堆在回憶那間房間但是忍耐一點不去碰它就不危險 oh oh
H：你沒變我沒變我們到最後才能懂這一點人活著不就為了實現一個個心願好可惜我和你許了不同的願
合：天亮了天亮了地球又轉一圈了既然我還幸運地活著當然要全力以赴去快樂天亮了天亮了世界還是好好的什麼痛都是很渺小的看太陽不是又升起來了
S：我的心是我的不會再给你了
H：我是我自己的我很快樂 oh oh ah ha oh oh~~
合：天亮了天亮了地球又轉一圈了既然我還幸運地活著當然要全力以赴去快樂天亮了天亮了世界還是好好的什麼痛都是很渺小的看太陽不是又升起來了

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
在远处我知道你应该过的很好。 Everthing is fine on your side所以你一定要幸福。
~~~~~~~
我在daiso买了一本notebook, and the covers says:

"Happy-
1. feeling or showing pleasure or contentment a happy smile.
2. causing pleasure a happy day for the company
3. suitable; fortunate a happy coincidence."

I ever bought a book 1000 reasons you're my friend,anyway tgt with it i bought , 1000 reasons to be happy or something like that (yup, reminds of a fren for awhile hahahaz). Anyway, 重点is..... stay HAPPY... and be contented.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All is well now...Weeettt!~

2008-10-04T22:33:00.003+08:00

I have goood news to share! I have found a new job! weettt!~!~ Very very happy! Anyway, met up with all my girlfriends recently and i realised really no job is perfect. All of us got our own set of problems at work. But of cos life still goes on. I read my previous entry.. felt the anger and the depression.. and of cos i felt silly for being so childish. Everyone have probs at work just how we resolve them and what steps and decisions to make that enable us to be happier. I realised i have been really fortunate, no matter what OR peeps (esp aunty pat, Justin, Jo, Reif, etc) treat me really well and im sure i will miss them in the future. Im sorry i make so many of my frens, my family and my boo worried about me. It's going to be a fresh start in about one month's time and im really excited and anticipating the change of a new environment and a completely different job.

So to all my frens, 要加油哦！！We must always have dreams.... The real world has no mercy for the weak, so we muz learn to be stronger!!

I think i have made my final decision

2008-09-20T21:46:00.003+08:00

I understand that everyone hates their jobs.. maybe Hate is too strong a word to use but most people have a whole lists of rants and complaints to whine about their job. But there must be a reason why most ppl stayed on right? A good established company that provides good prospect, great bonus package, above the market salary, great staff benefits & welfare, etc etc. This is precisely what i want to explain to the rest of the world why i want to leave. None of the above reasons are applicable to me. NONE. And i do not wish to deny my decision to leave (most prob tendering 1st Oct), is triggered by a few incidents that happened recently.. It is no longer because i think the job is boring, there is no prospect, it is too far away or even the pay is low. Cos money to me is not a very big issue, impt but not the most crucial. So if you think i am Childish, immature, insensible to have made such a decision to leave when the job market is dry and the economy is bad, i have to admit that what you say abt the envirnoment is true but what you say about my character is only half true. I do not deny that it seems like a childish act but i have to yet once again explain my action. WHen a person has no passion in what she is doing, and do not feel motivated in doing her job. I dont see a reason to stay. There is no learning ground, no prospect, no big fat bonus packet (dream on.), no above the mkt basic salary, and is far from home. I have stayed on for 8 months til date. Im not trying to boast that it is a great victory of some sort but i hope to show that i have put in effort to make it work and have tried my best to stayed on. If it is not so intolerable these days that i have to cry my eyes swollen everyday to work for the past few days i guess i would have chose to be sensible and stayed.

Do i have to add that i do not have a "proper" desk at work no corporate office but a small messy one. I showed yanting a video that Justin took of me in the office. She nearly fainted. I guess becos she has never worked in a non corp environment before. But the office is oso a small issue, i survived 8 mths there din i? I am always affected by issues of people & relations. Anyway, for all those who are truly concerned, i am really fine now. Thank you for all those who cared. My emotions are calmer now, i am no longer angry about what is happening. I understand that, this is life.. i noe. I hope you all understand that I DO UNDERSTAND what you all have told me, and your advises are always at the back of my head reminding my every actions. I have only one simple request. Look at it from my point of view for once and give me the confidence and support that i need. I dont deny that i envy all my friends who are having jobs that have better prospects, and a fatter pay cheque. ANd they also dont deny to me that all of those comes with a very stress job scope. But at least they know they are working towards a certain thing that keeps them going. I dont think i am motivated at all. And neither am i happy. "What doesnt kill you, makes you stronger!" i think i can never fulfil it. I can nv become stronger. All i will take a slower path to become stronger. My sincere apologies to all those that feel that i have disappoint them. I just want to say it is really about being happy about doing the job, it gives job satisfaction. I used to be a temp @ adecco, i can work late to do the part timer pay for the clients, i ever cried becos janet is having hospitalisation leave and i have no idea how to do the perm staff payrolling for the clients. But I grow and i learnt and im glad to say i become good at it. There are no OT pay, i am just a temp staff, there are no additional benefits, but i love the ppl and the job there. Of cos once in awhile, i get frustrated but generally i know what i am doing and i noe i did quite well in it. Even if Shirley is paying me lower at that time, i would still have continued and help her and janet, moreover i am proud to be part of the team.

I am not a job hopper and i have always tried to be sensible and listen to advises given by all those that i respected and trust. My emotional breakdown is a sign of weakness that i cannot deny. And i can promise you that i will grow up thus i decided to bear the consequence of being jobless (very soon) because that makes me a happier person. Sometimes i wonder if i have made the right decision. But if people whom i respected and trust supports me, i will feel confident enough to take over the whole world. Stop making me feel like im so useless compared to all of you. Don't i deserved that little support?

I rem i have always been different. When all of them went to JC, i chose Poly. I have 14 for L1R5, i could have gone to one of the neighbourhood JC if i wanted. When most people score A for their test, i get a C. When most people get C, surprisingly i've gotten an A. It is a difficult decision to make, but i think just let me be "insensible". I have whined and complained but sometimes i also commented on the little perks and privileges but still at the end of the day it does not satisfy me.

I am upset not solely becos of the job or what is happening at work. But more on why the people i respected and trust the most, did not see from my stand and did not give me the support & trust when i needed it the most. My sincere thanks to all those who really cared and i know are really worried for me. And of cos a big credit to my boo who has always supported me. Im sorry that i have even doubted him. I asked, " did you support me becos im ur gf or becos u really see it fr my point of view?". And his reply was,"I supported you becos i believe one should at least be comfortable & happy with what they are doing. Live your life the way you want." I am truly touched by his words. He has also helped me to understand from another perspective so that i feel less upset. I was so upset with my parents. But i think it is a communication problem that we would have to solve. Anyway, i hope this episode is closed, and may i have good news to share soon.

so tired of everything

2008-09-18T00:37:00.002+08:00

Im really tired of everything. Trying so hard to be neutral already. I noe stuffs like that happens everywhere and i shld juz learn to grow up and cope with it. But if i have chosen to follow my heart long ago, maybe i wont be involve in this mess at all. There are so many reasons to leave, and juz becos i cant get the support i need.. i stayed on.. because of this ONE reason, i told myself i shld be more mature and responsible until today when things get out of hand and it burst out like an atomic bomb. Y cant i deserve more trust and support than that? Im feeling so useless about myself for the entire year. I dont know what to expect at the meeting tomorrow. I juz wish things can be settled calmly.. i juz need my pillars of support to be there. Thks boo for being there.

so so so tired... nv been so upset in regards to tis kind of issues before.

刘力杨- 眼泪都笑了

2008-09-16T22:31:00.002+08:00

刘力杨-眼泪都笑了
这只mv有我喜欢的汪东城！！我最爱的飞轮海成员。

比想象中更痛你真的沒回頭我命令眼淚不許失控回憶不跟你走都擠在我心中我就有責任讓它值得被珍重*謝謝你曾讓我難過謝謝我沒有想太多當愛情左盼右顧的時候我眼淚都笑了誰還想哭呢再勇敢的站著找回光和熱面對你的時候我不會捨不得因爲你已是過客因爲路有些曲折*是美的心碎成了沙漠就快開鑿綠洲我沒有時間不知所措你溫柔的雙手本就不屬於我又何必在乎它以後屬於誰呢REPEAT *我眼淚都笑了誰還會哭呢來不及完美的就唱首驪歌想起你的時候我不是卑微的反而我沒有遺憾因爲我已愛過你深深的

第401

2008-09-11T23:56:00.005+08:00

这是我第401个post...有大概两个礼拜没blog 了。。情绪的起起落落太大所以有时也真的不知道该写些什么。。。有两首新歌我很喜欢，歌词太动人了。不过，歌的背后都有小故事，如果你能理解就会明白那些伤感的情绪。。

梁靜茹--我們就到這

李玖哲--不，完美

李玖哲的《不，完美》MV有一段很有意思的结尾：

“爱人的那一个，往往在不完美中给完美。。。”
“被爱的那一个，却总是在完美中找不完美。。。”

p/s: Sunday is my sis's wedding! Weetttt!~ So excited.... and i get to dress up too. keke. 祝她和她老公白头偕老，快点生一个“小胖”给我玩！啊姨会很疼很疼你的！

如果能在一起

2008-08-27T22:35:00.005+08:00

I finally found Liang jing ru new song! 如果能在一起

如果能在一起词：黄婷 / 曲：黄荻钧 / 编曲：伍冠谚

夕阳快消失了像一颗心沉入海底投入灼热的光影对话都结束了胸口的悸动还没停今天我更喜欢你好想独占这距离你的小心我的呼吸谁会先鼓起勇气如果我们能在一起我只想此刻的你的孩子气和笑眯眯陪我未来的风雨如果我们能在一起我只想此刻的我的好心情心电感应让所有的心愿不怕来不及人群都散去了你鼻尖微湿的汗滴蒸发在我的体温好想独占这距离你的小心我的呼吸谁会先鼓起勇气如果我们能在一起你的天使会比以前爱美丽会更美丽就像函馆的夜景如果我们能在一起唱一首歌会比以前有感情心有灵犀就连太平洋也静静在聆听如果我们能在一起我只想此刻的你的孩子气和笑眯眯陪我未来的风雨如果我们能在一起我只想此刻的我的好心情心电感应让所有的心愿不怕来不及如果我们能在一起你的天使会比以前爱美丽会更美丽就像函馆的夜景如果我们能在一起唱一首歌会比以前有感情心有灵犀就连太平洋也静静在聆听

Feeling abit "old sch-ish" today..

2008-08-17T21:49:00.003+08:00

Feeling alittle old school-ish today.. feel like listening to abit of westlife.. hahah those boybands days... pretty sweet memories.. simple lyrics.. but straight forward & touch the heart..
Hmm not my fav boyband yet but enjoy tis 2 lovely songs.

"I don't wanna fight"

"Try Again"

Forgot to mention is my mummy's bday today. hahaha Happy Birthday mummY!

Not well?

2008-08-16T22:01:00.003+08:00

Are we too used to this lifestyle that we forgotten about what is impt?
Have we taken for granted that things are not going to change?
Is that little time enough to show the care & concern?
Are we moving forward or is there a standstill?
Maybe, maybe not...

**PMS .. dun come and irritate me pls.....**

*********************************************

Went shopping with yanting and yuling today...had a great time shopping and buying our exchange gifts for graduation. But maybe due to my lack of slp, i went home feeling tired.. and i puked! DUH.... and my stomach feels funny toooo.. Hope it gets better by tml.. I need more of my fav medical oil!! Yanting pls buy more stock from BKK for me.. thanks! Hee

truth is not knowing the truth

2008-08-03T13:30:00.004+08:00

Geri's fav song: Sammi's 你爱我爱不起

I found the canto ver of Sammi's 美丽的误会，　the canto one is called 每天爱你少一些

**********************

The truth is not knowing the truth ... and is becos of denial or avoidance to face the prob.

There are many times where we know what is right and what is wrong yet we go ahead and still do the wrong thing. There are many times we do not want to think and follow our gut feeling. There are many times alot of things seem beyond our control or is it that we refused to control our own feelings?

Sometimes, not knowing the truth might be a good thing, cos it doesnt affect the current equilibrium.

They say im too pampered, i agreed.. i nv knew what is hardship.. true. They say i watched too much drama & read too much romance novels & live in my own fantasy...

I hate to admit it but i noe i am nv mature enuf to handle certain issues. Sighz but that's me..

Yanting 说毕竟长大是要付出代价的，可是。。到底多少代价才能让人长大？我想她自己也不知道吧。每个人都曾当过傻瓜，而当傻瓜也有他幸福的时候。人生毕竟经历分分合合，有美好的回忆而能相逢也算是有缘。

on 31st July 2008

2008-08-03T11:59:00.007+08:00

Run errands for myself... went to POST office to collect the registered mais- one is the top i bought online and i finally found out who the mysterious gift is from! Hahha thanks Ah lei for the prezzie!!! Thank you for the free dinner @ One Rochester hahah all thanks to Justin lah. keke.. and i finally bought my K770i brown colour no contract using the ang bao money i collect as present hee. I know not new model but i like! Okay pics speak louder than words, esp with my poor language...

Dinner @ OR

On Singapore Flyer.

The presents from the party.

Boos' present for me.

who send me a registered mail?

2008-07-31T00:33:00.003+08:00

Who send me a registered mail?? Handwriting looks like gal one leh... who can it be leh?? Most people would have just meet up with me to pass me my presents right?? hmmm, so who can it be? i can only know tomorrow morning after i collect it from the Post office... Making me damn curious now..

Hmmm.....Is it from you?

Anyway happy birthday to myself! It's my 23rd year in this world.

I feel so LOVED~ thks my dear frens! (& boo boo)

2008-07-27T23:10:00.016+08:00

So happy yst night!!! I hereby thank you all who attended the bday party & for all the lovely prezzies... keke.. Ning feel so loved yst! Really feel like a princess wahahah.. So glad that so many people came and celebrate m bday with me. Thank you my dear frens & my boo for loving me for who i am and suppporting me always. Muacks!!! So fast time have passed.. its my 23rd bday... next thurs... though glad that i have so many people who dotes on me and love me but i still feel like i din acheive much in my life leh. But of cos i muz believe i can do better and cont to stay positve in life. Heee.. anyway still very happy abt last nite.. though in end aft the cake cutting and a few "neat" drinks i "KO-ed" and puke like 4 times???? hahah lucky i kept myself sober before the cake cutting in order to take the pretty photos. wahahah. i hope all my frens had fun & enjoyed themselves cos i did! I have to apologise that i might not be a very good host and entertain all my guests cos there r too many!! So really sorry if i din get to socialize much ya. I try my very best to go ard all the tables alr..heeee..& BIG BIG thank u to Rick & Geri who organise this bday party for me.. and all their prezzies & the preparation that they have made & planned.. I heart the 2 of u deep deep ya..hee Muacksss! Oh & my boo boo sang my fav 陈晓春's 独家记忆 for me.. so 感动！My boo boo is a good boy!! Love ya!

Ning knows she is a lucky gal.. =)

Take a peek @ some of the photos..hee

Soooo Excited !!!

2008-07-25T09:24:00.003+08:00

I am soooooo soooo excited and looking forward to the celebration tomorrow!!! Keke so many friends are coming!! We are going to bring the house down!!! Yeah!!! Im so excited until i cant seem to focus on work already lor.. keke... Steal some time to blog alittle.. keke.. FUN FUN FUN.. let's have FUN tomorrow! Weeetttss... Ning is a very fortunate and lucky gal... Really... =)
I am a princess! wahah ok... very bhb.. cos self-proclaimed one.. wahahahha.. dun care.. im too happy & excited to care. Juz hope nuttin screw up or crop up to spoil my wonderful party tomorrow. =)

** okie..gotta go back to work alr.. hee

The chance has come?

2008-07-22T22:14:00.004+08:00

Has the chance come? I hope i can grab this golden opportunity..i prayed so hard for it to happen... my dream... pls make my bday wish comes true.. the big wish.. erm.. and the small wish too... if possible.. Give me luck~!

***************
Was watching channel U's drama 一切完美 on tv just now.. And there was this part whereby Julian Hee is dating a fat girl (xiao li) in the show.. Though they like each other but the pressure is on the girl because of her size. I just want to comment that though everyone wish that their the other half will be very good looking but there will definitely be pressure if you yourself dont feel that you are good enuf. Even if its not for the size, maybe an average looking plain jane might have feel the same inferior complexity becos the boyfriend is too good looking.. They will always be wondering what the other party sees in them when they feel that they are not as good. But nonetheless, love is being able to accept the person for who she/he is. Acceptance over insecurities.. hahah i dont have such a prob cos my bf is not a 帅哥！wahahha.. well well, just my random tots again after watching the drama. =)

**************
*miss- misses- missed?*

Random tots about fantasy

2008-07-21T23:22:00.004+08:00

Well, well,well, this is copied from my fren lyly's entry quite some time ago... which i always find it interesting. I have been wondering so does all that is said below true? Or is it too much of a fantasy or story telling? Undoubtedly, some of it is true for some of us. So is all this fantasy true? I guess we will all be very fortunate if we can find someone true to us and love us for who we are. No matter how much we miss a person or how sweet the kisses are.. in this world of ours... we still have to rely on 天时，地理，人和。no matter what, 能遇见而相识已经是一种缘分。I mean this are juz my tots lah... my random tots again...

When a GIRL is quiet … millions of things are running in her mind. When a GIRL is not arguing … she is thinking deeply. When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions … she is wondering how long you will be around. When a GIRL answers ” I’m fine ” after a few seconds … she is not at all fine.
When a GIRL stares at you … she is wondering why you are lying. When a GIRL lays on your chest … she is wishing for you to be hers forever. When a GIRL wants to see you everyday… she wants to be pampered. When a GIRL says ” I love you ” … she means it. When a GIRL says ” I miss you ” … no one in this world can miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person …. Find a guy … who calls you beautiful instead of hot. who calls you back when you hang up on him. who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who … kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Who turns to his friends and says, ” That’s her!! “

Anyway, im so excited about this sat!! It's gotta be FUN! With all my close frens ard.. showering me wif their friendship and love. Weet!~

Music clips

2008-07-14T12:42:00.004+08:00

For Geri! =)

江美琪- 路人

梁泳琪-顺时针

Not gonna happen again

2008-07-13T01:06:00.004+08:00

Ppl have been asking me what is my bday wish... and like i say in my previous post, its a SECRET! If you know me well enuf, u will noe. But i do have a smaller 2nd wish... its a secret too... but i guess its no longer impt alr. Anyway, no matter what the present is, it isnt impt at all. Its the effort and the thought of getting the present tat is impt. U can buy me anything but i can still be happy receiving it. Becos its from those that love me for who i am. And all my close frens know what kind of things i like, so it isnt hard to find presents for me at all.

***********************

Im never gonna allow myself to get involved in an awkward situation or a situation whereby i have no control over and i have to bail myself out with a help of a fren (thank you my fren for ur help, u noe who u r). I dun want things to repeat itself, i dun wan to lose control of my own emotions. My nonchalances are my pretenses becos i no longer know what to do or how to act. Without the thick layers of make-up, i am just me... Thank u to happy memories. Post will be deleted when i feel tat its time to do so.

JULY is my Bday Month!

2008-07-08T22:29:00.009+08:00

JULY is my BDAY Month!!! Yes yes alot of people waiting for my bday wishlist for this year. BUt my top wish is a *secret*, cannot tell ppl one. Wahahah..is 不能说的秘密, keke! To be honest, i am quite a lucky gal lah, nuttin much that i really want to have leh. Only one suay thing happened to me last friday. I LOST MY HP!! This is my first time losing my hp!!! Most of the time is handphone spoil because i dropped it too often. But this time is totally GONE.. haizz.. So pls send me an sms or msn msg me your number ya. =)

OKay here goes my wishlist:

New handphone: Sony Ericsson K770(hmm black or beige? nv seen the real set b4 so not v sure oso), quite a old model already but is quite cheap now so can buy. For more details pls contact my boo. hee ( oh we found out that k770 is end of its life cycle alr, dunno starhub still have any more stocks of it left in the shops anot, sighz)

i want a pair of birkies
hmm Bags? cos my the zips of most of my bags all spoilt already. Dunno why also, although i still use them. Tat's why i dropped my hp lah!!! ( muz be lah i think, grrr!) A black patent bag is not bad, or a colourful one oso can. ahahahah
Hmm more dresses???

Cant think of anymore things that i would want. I am a simple woman. Wahahahzz.. I just want to have lotsa fun when celebrating my bday. And most imptly, the people who celebrate my bday with me must also have fun too. Getting old already, cannot act cute already.... hahahz.

Anyway, look @ photos below:

A pocketful of Sunshine

2008-06-30T23:10:00.006+08:00

I deleted an entry i posted yesterday night, becos i no longer feel that it is necessary for it to be posted out. There are too many things to be left unsaid as saying too much has lost its purpose already. I dunno if anyone has encounter this before or not, but i have this "Leave it Unspoken rule", its basically runs on the theory that the more you talked about a certain thing or issue then bad or unfavourable outcome will be resulted. It turn out true for many occasions for me. So i really believe in it, though sometimes my BIG MOUTH just couldnt shut up and i ended up with less than favourable outcome. So the best thing is to keep my mouth shut.. pretty hard i guess.*Sighz* Anyway, a new song to introduce- Natasha Bedingfield: A pocketful of Sunshine. Im pretty into english songs lately, listening to english stations for the past week. A nice change occasionally from my fav 933. Meanwhile, i gathered a no of nice hits on the airwaves that is pleasant to my ears. hahahz. This is one of them. Enjoy.

- Natasha Bedingfield Lyrics

i guess i dun learn

2008-06-12T21:33:00.006+08:00

I guess i dont learn... letting things repeat and the cycle re-run...
Why has it got to be like that? After toking to the gals, i concluded that the prob lies with me.
I dun want to be like that either, but sometimes i cant control my own emotions.. I shld have known better.. seriously... but why is it that i refused to learn?

Most people have only 1 key to a lock.. why do i always have 2 and in different sizes?

A new song that i like by Jordan Chan. 陈小春〈独家记忆〉。。。though the mtv abit cliche but i still teared... as usual... im an EMO freak. Oh and there is a canto version , 《我不是伟人》

忘记分开后的第几天起
喜欢一个人看下大雨
没联络孤单就像连锁反应
想要快乐都没力气
雷雨世界像场灾难电影
让现在的我可怜到底
对不起谁也没有时光机器
已经结束的没有商量的余地
我希望你是我独家的记忆
摆在心底不管别人说得多么难听
现在我拥有的事情
是你是给我一半的爱情
我喜欢你是我独家的记忆
谁也不行从我这个身体中拿走你
在我感情的封锁区
有关于你绝口不提
没问题
没关系Repeat
没限期

Being doted can be a blessing and also a curse

2008-06-02T23:02:00.003+08:00

I know compared to some others im really very blessed. No matter where i go i have people who really dotes on me alot. I am always the trouble maker that is trying to make a mess out of everything or trying to be difficult or fussy. Just like the other day i went over to the ecp outlet, i enjoyed the privileges i get, the way i can easily tok to any of the staffs there like we are long time friends and act like im a regular there. I just like to socialise, soak in all the attention and of cos becos of my position in the company i definitely know everyone! And not only there, in the place that im based, the setting is like home to me. I really do love the peeps, but sometimes some other factors are also being put into consideration. But being doted makes me think that in the future, there might be some decisions harder to make. Some emotions harder to control and alot of contradicitions that follows. *sighz*

Today is the 1st day without my best work buddy. She just started work in a new company. Though we still chat on msn, but its different without her around, esp during lunch time. Cos she is my lunch buddy too!!! *sobzzz* Hhahaahah but im so happy for her at the same time cos at least unlike me, she knows what she wants in her life and is not afraid to pursue it.. Way to GO, GaL!~

I read a fren's blog lately, and in one of her entry she mentioned that a gal should wait for a guy who kisses her forehead. I dun understand why but i have to admit, it does feel special to be kissed on the forehead. No matter how good the kisses are, kiss on the forehead is just sooo sweet...

Anyway, found a english song that i like the lyrics v much. Its's CHANGE by Sugarbabes.

Bull Fight 《斗牛，要不要》

2008-05-25T21:29:00.006+08:00

我又在一次地爱上他（贺军翔），已经是第4次了吧。从《爱情合约》，我最爱的《恶魔在身边》，《换换爱》到这一次《斗牛，要不要》，我还是一样的对他着迷。实在是太帅了，而且就是我喜欢的类型。坏坏的男人，有着最温柔的心和最执著的爱情。当然我也知道这些都是偶像剧，不过我还是很爱看。每看一部戏就好像谈了一场爱情似的。哈哈哈！

经典台词：（第14集，starting)

“人长大了，就会有越来越多的没有。有越来越多没有可能办得到的事。长大后，也有越来越多没有办法回应的话。长大后，有越来越多没有人照顾的时候。长大后，有越来越多没有理由的爱情挫折。人长大后，真的有好多的没有，但是让人长大的也是这些没有。”

感言：

这个世界很大很大，能让两个人相遇不管是情人还是朋友都是一种缘分。所以，要珍惜每一段友情或者爱情，让它留下最美好的回忆。

我的笑脸，希望永远在回忆里都是那么灿烂。

Oh im a natural flirt!

2008-05-16T09:22:00.003+08:00

Okay so its 9 plus in the morning, im in the office feeling alittle bored.. so i did a quiz online..

See below for the results.. hhahaha

ShoppingLifestyle Quizzes > Love & Sex
Are You A Good Flirt?
So, are you timid or a tease, captivating or coy?

Your Results

Natural Flirt

Chatting up men can feel really awkward for some, but for you flirting comes naturally. Your incredible sex appeal and sociable demeanor means that men feel comfortable talking to you, and these are what add to your charm.When it comes to men you're interested in, you're not afraid to make the first move, but your approach is more friendly rather than sexual.Coy laughs, head tilts, fun conversations, eye bats – these girly flirting tactics are your signature moves. But your winning trait has to be your intuitive ability to pace your advances, so even though you wish you could lay your paws on that hot guy right now, you know it's way wiser to proceed with light verbal flirting first.

hmmmm... sounds like me? hee, bored bored friday morning...
If you are as bored... do the quiz too!
http://www.shoppinglifestyle.com/quiz/goodflirt/

Im feeling so lousy becos im still Lost

2008-05-12T21:43:00.002+08:00

Im feeling so lousy right now for what had happened today. How come everyone knows what they want to do or what they are good at? And i dun. Im just being v Lost & confused for the past few mths, trying v hard to know what i wan to do with my life. And in turn cause quite abit of "disturbance" to some ppl ard me. If only i have made better decisions previously, and if only im not so fickle minded... if only i am sure of what i am doing....... if only there is a light that guide my way... if only i knew what i want..

So do i cont to wait for the right opportunity to come by? Or grab anything that comes my way?
*sighz* im so lousy.. i noe.. and so terrible in making decisions. There muz be something wrong with me!!! Seriously.... *Sighz*

When can i finally find my way?

Im really not that emo lah

2008-05-01T21:42:00.002+08:00

Hmm people have been asking me if im alrite, cos of my emo nick online hahah. okay lah, i admit im very affected by the things and the environment around me. So my emotions goes haywired... Up and down it went. Im terrible with my own emotions. One second im laughing like mad, next min i can feel so down i want to cry. Hahha oh well, that is just ME!~

I read my previous posts and im thinking well, i must have written them when im damn depressed. hmmm. haha i tink i must clarify abit. The ppl in my current workplace actually very teng wo one. hahhahaz there are just other issues that i have to handle. To prove that my life is actually not as bad just that sometimes i feel so down i muz whine and complain about it. I wanted to post some happy pictures, but cant leh. Something wrong wif blogger. duh. Will post it next time ya.

Cheers!

Life is full of dramas & stories to tell

2008-05-01T12:22:00.006+08:00

For the past weeks is full of meeting people, listening to dramas and stories.. i just love my dear frens.... Whole lot of happening things about them. So this is what we call LIFE... nv perfect but always experiencing the unexpected. Life wont be interesting without dramas right?? Some of them get depressed over it, some just become nonchalant, some even emotionless, some cried over it and some just let it hanging and dragging becos yet to find a solution. And being a good supportive fren that i always pride myself to be, I lent out my ears and maybe my shoulders too. The bottomline is i hope all of them will find true love at the end of the day. Someone who appreciate them for who they are, understands them and deserve their love. But they Really v drama lah. Really hope all things went well with them. Wat would i do without frens, some alcohol, a camera, some music.....

Anyway, i found another nice song!! Erm the lyrics are hmmm about "playing the game".. so enjoy!

曲名：吻得太逼真
歌手：张敬轩

无论怎么叫我都觉得虚伪陪伴你那么久你说是受罪从前到现在当我是谁你这花心蝴蝶昨夜陪你醉唱到我心碎你竟说我和你不配完全忘记往日为何能与我彻夜缠绵 **和你吻吻吻吻吻吻你吻得太逼真让我把虚情假意当作最真心的亲吻怪自己来不及区分你对我是酷爱是敷衍我想吻吻吻吻吻我该怎么脱身你却说花花世界不必当真多么伤人让我爱上多情的红唇** 拿什么心肠面对我的生冷能不能想一想你让我多伤你的爱就像完美毒药对手的场地依然漂亮不敢想曾与你渡过多少真实的晚上一转眼热恋后身受重伤 Repeat ** 深渊万丈你把我的爱用尽后丢弃荒野埋葬你犯的罪装没人知道用什么证明你的亲吻真的残忍 Repeat **

I found Another Emo song fr wu ke qun below....making me tear again..

曲名：牵牵牵手
歌手：吴克群

我的话不多不会讨好一句我爱你都说不好全世界想救都没解药只有你给我微笑该怎么去爱我没学好太多的招式我没记牢原来牵了手就会知道爱情不需要套招这招只有你知道牵牵牵牵手一直走到最后我们开心的梦游牵牵牵牵手永远十指紧扣我相信我会永远在你左右永远在你左右

there must be something wrong with me, seriously

2008-04-26T21:04:00.005+08:00

As what the title says, there must be something wrong with me. Most people crave for stability, as long as everything goes smoothly and nuttin goes wrong, they are more than happy to lead this kind of life. BUT WHY the HELL am I so unique??? I look forward to something wrong to happen in my life, hoping that it could be something exciting or interesting. I must be Mad.

I want to know what i want. I want to know what i am good at. I want to know why i am who i am. Im tired of being myself. Oh and the itch came back, so what am i supposed to feel right now?

And no, life isnt perfect for me. I am just living one day by another. Compared to some, my life seems good and normal, but i guess the current state isnt what i want it to be. Maybe some day i will change, i will be someone better.

Nice nice song by Wu Ke Qun- Yue Ai Yue Nan Guo.. OKok it's an emo song. And NO im not breaking up with my boo, just that im a sucker for those touching and emo songs. Enjoy~

越爱越难过作词：吴克群　作曲：吴克群
说　说你为什么　为什么要走　说你为何要分手
别拖　求你别软弱　求你说出口　分手的理由
但你却　拖　拖　拖　拖到什么时候
如果要走却又为何停留请你别　拖　拖　拖　大声的说出口
请你要痛就痛给我个快活

**如果说你要走　我不会留　我不去管以后
然后我们说清楚　一句话就够
如果说你要走　我不会留　我不去管以后
多么痛　多么的难过　别越爱越难过**

然后连话都不说　继续沉默
连朋友都没的作　为了什么
然后跟别人说你其实还是爱我
就算了吧　坏人我来作

no longer..

2008-04-08T20:54:00.003+08:00

I no longer want to blog, becos there is so much i wan to say but i cant put it in words and i can no longer wear my feelings on my sleeves.
My world start crashing ever since when i do not know. Dont ask me why but i can only say i have made so many wrong decisions, and im still so LOST.
U all dunno me. i dunno me. no one noe me...so let me be.
its all abt pretenses..

What is my true calling? Im still Lost...

2008-03-14T09:58:00.004+08:00

sometimes i do not understand myself.
For the whole of my 23 years in my life, life haven been too tough on me.
i wonder to myself what do i want to do with my life and i have no ans.
Do i want to be normal, successful or different?
Yet again, i have no ans...
Standing alone on the streets looking at everyone that pass by,
each with a goal they want to achieve, and a purpose in life.
And why do i have none?
Im Lost... lost in this big big world...
I duno where i stand, and unsure of my own capabilities.
So.. what is my true calling?

My 1st wk in One Rochester

2008-03-01T22:57:00.002+08:00

Well well, i went to the Launch party of 1 Twenty Six yst!!! It's actually a new restaurant opened by my company. It serves fine dining at east coast park. Damn far.. i noe... And i am pretty insistent on not having there as my base becos of the location. Anyway, the whole thing turns out better than i expected cos initially i din have the intention to be at the launch. And since i can bring a few frens over for companionship, i asked adecco peeps. In the end only crystal went with me, and we had quite a bit of fun too. Esp with the free flow of wines and other drinks, its easy to be on high spirit! The only thing is i forgotten to take the namecard which i tink state the website to download the photos taken that nite. Though i have the small card size copy but it'll be good to have softcopy of it too. Nonetheless, it's a pretty grand affair, the kind of event that i nv tot i'll be invited to so i guess its really a good exposure and im glad to be there (even when i dunno a single guest there.duh). BUt its still quite alrite lah since we happened to see 2 of crystal's clients there and we have nice chats with them. And of cos very thank you to crystal's frens whom one send us there and the other pick us up.

Time really pass real fast, and i juz completed my 1st wk in OR. I have got a feeling its gg to be really busy soon. haizzz.. well that is work i guess. hahahz Im getting my social calendar back in order starting next wk. yes! finally! I miss all my frenssss!!!!! But im still damn broke lah. Wait til my pay day man. im definitely gg to go out & have some fun. keke. =)

My 1st day of work!

2008-02-25T23:18:00.002+08:00

This is the long awaited post... i noe! haahz yes yes i finally found a job.. No big MNCs, no corporate environments, no stats boards. But in a very diff industry i nv enter before yet the in a role that i wan to become professionally. My new company is One Rochester (www.onerochester.com). Basically F&B lor hahahz doing HR. It's a new challenge for me so im prepared to work hard! And i realised all the places i worked before aint v corporate at all. ahhahaz Hmm maybe beside Adecco cos at least it is more of an office environment but culture wise still pretty informal. StarHub oso tt time worked in a retail area. So maybe i really suit a less corporate culture, which i agree. hahaha. Maybe in a few yrs time when im more mature lah, den suit corp environments more. Anyway, my 1st day is quite slack. Explore the place alittle, cos One Rochester is basically a bungalow. DEn went over to the company's new restaurant One Twenty Six at ECP for mgt meeting which stretch til almost time to go home.

Im oso very touched by all those who send me smses and msn msges to ask me abt my 1st day. Very thankful for all your concerns! Im glad to have so many supportive frens (all my korsss & good frens) & family who care for me all this while til i found a job, u noe who u r so i dun have to name it all cos the list is pretty long! Juz wanna say *Thank u & Hugss*.

I'll update more often and hope all is well in work for me and all the rest of u who are working! oops & studying too! =)

Start of a brand new yr!

2008-01-01T21:41:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!~!~ It's the start of a brand new year. 2007 is GONE... that is nuttin much i can do to salvage watever that has gone wrong in 2007, but i will try my very best to make 2008 better than 2007. Anyway, I have been pretty depressed and demoralised by the fact that i have still not gotten myself a job that i like. Yup, BUT i will still like to thank all my dear frens who are encouraging and supporting me when i need them. Especially to Val, Youde, Zf, Kev, Ting and my boo.

Since is the start of a new yr, i plan to be very optimistic! I wont say No more EMO but LESS EMO... wahahahhazzz. May all the bad things go away and never come back and more good things to come my way! Oh ya and it's always great to meet old frens. Welcome back jess, before u fly back to aussie soon! heezzz. And of cos drinking wif my dear kevin kor and his bros has nv failed to be fun. I made new kor! so i assume i still benefit lah hor. wahahhazzz.

Enjoy the pics as well as the holidays!

Merry Christmas to all my dear ones.

2007-12-23T15:16:00.000+08:00

Merry Merry Christmas & Season Greetings to all! Christmas is my favourite time of the year becos it is a time to receive & give presents and immerse ourselves in the fun and laughter of the festive joy. It is a season to care and share and gather close friends & family together and wish all the best for the coming new year.

With Xmas, it also bring us closer to the end of the year. For the past 12 mths, it hasnt been entirely fabulous nor totally disastrous. Hahahhaz. Im grateful to all those people who has given me a helping hand or the support that i need in this year. THis year also marks the ending of my sch life. Feeling nervous yet excited to get into the new world of working society. I hope i can bring good news to all very soon in the coming year.

Im grateful to have very good friends that standby me all these while thru my uni life, thank you to my gals for tolerating my nonsense during proj period when im stressed up & temperamental. Not to forget also my gals that have been with me for almost 10 years. 2007 has brought us closer together. Discover more of ourselves & each other by giving the support to each other when it is needed. I really hope as the years go by our friendship will be further strengthen.

People in the office has made working a pleasure becos they bring me so much fun & laughter along with a working experience i will never forget. With their help & guidance, i am more prepared for more challenges in the future in a new workplace. I'll definitely miss them lotss!

2007 also gave me a chance to meet new friends and sad to say drift apart from some. But nonetheless, everyone i have ever known is special cos you left a mark in my life before just how deep the mark is. We cant keep all our friends forever, we can only choose the ones dearest to us and understand us the most to be right beside us.

Last but not least, my dearest boo has excel as the best bf one could ever have! Muacks!

Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS PEEPS!

With Love,

NinG

Christmas Shopping!

2007-12-15T23:15:00.000+08:00

I went shopping for xmas gifts today with my sis trying to squeeze thru the crowd on a rainy sat in orchard road. I tell u.. it's really damn crowded lor... BUt the lucky thing is i manage to get all my shoopping done today except for the gift exchange for the my office event. By the end of the day im super tired along with many shopping bags hanging on my arms. hahahah but i do enjoy shopping for xmas gifts every single yr for all those that im celebrating xmas wif. Anyway, here goes my wishlist for those who haven buy anything for me. wahahhahz

WISH LIST

A JOB I LIKE! anyway....the list starts below:
birkis
ankle boots
shawl
mouse pad
Mark & Spencer's lavender/rose body lotion
Clothes, clothes, clothes! mango sales start alr!
Cardigan
laptop fan
hmmm will tink of more.. wahahhaz

* What are you wishing for this christmas?*

Updates & the usual randomness

2007-12-13T00:11:00.000+08:00

I went for a couple of interviews, rejected some becos the pay is too low or the location is too far away fr home. And it makes me wonder if im being too picky or my expectation is too high? Im kinda worried abt not being able to find a job i like or a company i fancy..though alot of ppl have been telling me that i shld take my time shld find the RIGHT job. But still, the anxiety still grows in me. Haizzz.. and like wat my boo says im still so unsure of what i want. I have been trying to tink this qns thru these few days.

Anyway, i juz made a "new" fren, someone that is so different from all the other guy frens that i know. Im afraid i have been too direct at times to the extend of being tactless.. Cos he is juz so diff fr twinnie, "daddy", cong cong, ben ben, weiliang , etcccc. as the list goes on. Now i feel so guilty and so bad, like i have mistreated him. *hurrr* The more i explain my character i tink the uglier the picture i have painted of myself. Grrr....But i juz dun wish to be misunderstood. And i really tink he is a nice guy to be frens wif. And back to the topic of being misunderstood,once again i was pretty pissed off today by someone becos i tink that person has misjudge my character and misunderstood my behaviours/actions. GRRR!

I seriously tink there is some prob wif me... There are so many times that im all crazy and hyper with a grp of ppl and there are oso many occasions when im alone and feeling all emo over everything or nuttin at all.. WHAT IS WRONG WIF ME?! duh....

*less than perfect*

Looking forward to xmas...

2007-12-02T15:12:00.000+08:00

It's quite some time since i laz blogged. Came back from my Japan trip with a bag full of jap's brand cosemetics, "zhao cai mao" & Hello Kitty items, cute key chains & hp straps, etc... It's a nice refreshing get-together trip for the family and we took so many nice photos!!~! The scenery is superb! It doesnt take a professional to capture nice photos when the scenery is so breath-taking already. *smile* Anyway, for those who haven collect their gifts fr me, kindly call me up to schedule a day ya!

Time has once again fly past us, it is one mth since my laz exam paper, and yet i haven gotten a job! That's a saddening fact. *sighz* I tink im not being active enuf in my job search. DUH... or am i expecting too much? Im not trying to say im good esp when my results kinda sux, but i really hope i get a good job in a big nice company. But of cos i'll miss adecco's peeps once i found a full time job. Rem the 1st wk that i went back to the office aft my exams, i dun find it welcoming. But of cos now is back to how it was in the past, the way i like it to be. And im so glad it remains that way.

Once again not to forget that is DECEMBER already! That can only possibly mean ONE THING. CHRISTMAS IS COMING!~ Its a season for fun and laughter and most imptly gifts ! Both receiving and giving gifts are a pleasure. Not to mention, xmas cards! I love writing them to ppl close to me. I love xmas shopping, there is so many nice things and i have got so little money .duh! hahahaz nonetheless, i still love the season to be jolly!~ There are so many things i want for xmas hahah so i'll be typing out my xmas wishlist soon! Stay tuned and see wat u wan to buy for me k! Wahahahz.. And now some photos from my trip below:

so much to blog....

2007-11-13T00:26:00.000+08:00

Okay okay someone is complaining that i blogged too much in chinese! Bleahxx, kk since i got alot of things to blog abt tonite, shall switched back to the most understandable language. Hee heez!~ Laz wk is super eventful, meet up wif lotsa ppl and celebrated alot of bdays! Fr Boo's bday to junbin to weiliang to nicholas....WHy do i noe so many scorpio babies?! And they are all GUYS lor.... hmmm?! *question mark in the air*.

Anyway, thanks 笨笨 for fulfilling the promise to send me home, esp in the new car, thanks "da ben xiang"!! I hope u like the prezzie, so muz treat ellphy well k! keke. I must also say my Thanks to Taiyo for all the special privileges he has given me for the mahjong nite, will treat him back one day. The mahjong session was fun although the combi abit wierd lah. Still many thanks for my xue zhang. wahahahz. Some more thanks to say, eh thanks joshua for the long awaited treat but its seriously the thought that counts so a BIG thank you for being such a nice guy!

Next was Nicholas's bday celebration which gave me a chance to meet up wif lydia and val before my japan trip, so we have a little get together session of updating. Miss my gals! Manage to catch the BEE MOVIE wif boo, val and jo aft the bday celebration. Most impt is my boo's bday! Aft dinner went coffee club to eat fruit fondue! YUMMY!~ keke. Busy working and meeting frens laz wk so dun really have time to even pack my luggage! Lucky my mum helped me packed quite a bit already.

Oh i juz wanna say i go Japan to see mountain and seas! Im not gg to the cities leh... hahah no tokyo no disneyland! Juz a relaxing retreat wif my family along with my auntie and my grandma. *Dun laugh* hor... Im the youngest leh no kids how to go disneyland! hahahhaz next time den ownself go lor. bleahx!

That's not all i wanna say. I noe i noe i very random, my paragraphs dun link either. hahhaz but i dun care. Anyway, there is this article in THE STRAITS TIME, Life section pg 6 (today 12 nov 2007), "Good friend, Bad Girlfriend" which i tink is super interesting. I wont say im so bad as described in the examples given by the writer but those who noe me well enuf understands that im never the perfect girlfriend but i'll do my bez as a fren. I cant help laughing when i read the article so i hope those who has newspaper at home can have a good read at it. LOL.

* i wanted to upload pictures, but there is something wrong with my lappy again. SIGHZ!* Arghhhh, i juz reformatted it abt 1 mth ago only lorrrrrr..! my sis is gg to "kill me" lah... Sobzz.

** I'll be back on 18th Nov~ Dun miss me too much ya! keke!

it's sad to noe that.....

2007-11-06T01:42:00.000+08:00

It's sad to noe that i no longer like the things i do at work, no longer like to go to the office, no longer understand the ppl and the things that is happening.

不懂为何觉得这次回office并没有以前的情切感，觉得有点虚伪。我并不知道原因，只是觉得气氛很不对而做事时很不顺心。可能我就是像个想得到注意力的小孩，觉得没人里的时候会觉得很闷很无趣。以前太被他们宠坏了，只知道他们好像真的应该疼我。不是现在不疼，只是有“今时不如往事”的感觉。我也不必要在意这样多，始终我也会离开为我的前途而奋斗。只不过以前的欢乐去了哪里？气氛有点不对，说话变成要小心翼翼，是不是大家心机太重了？还是我太敏感？是大人们太复杂了吗，还是太久没回去，搞不清楚状况。。我也不晓得，只是很想念以前的欢笑而以。

再看看接下去的日子吧。。。

P/s: Happy Birthday my boo boo!!! muacks!

恶魔/恶少/恶男

2007-11-04T12:11:00.000+08:00

有一点emo 了，在看《换换爱》，贺军翔主演的！真是太帅了啦。他是我永远的恶魔代言人！我曾经以为我也认识了一个恶魔，但我错了。一点也不是我想象的那样。我要的恶魔要跟贺军翔一样！！我可能真的有一点的慕名的追寻着一个不可能的梦想。因为在我的世界里是找不到这样的人物的。可是做梦是最甜蜜的！很多人喜欢“王子”这类型的男人。我不是不喜欢，只是恶魔比较吸引我！哈哈哈！我是个“怪角”(pronounced as " guai ka" in taiwan)! 我的世界更不可能有很像杨丞琳在戏里这样单纯又命苦的女生！有时，我也很想单纯一点，简单化一点，不过这样的话就会变成很笨，很傻，会给人骗的！已经是不精明了，如果还变更笨我不是没有得救了！这世界没有那么多好人每天帮助你，有一点good luck 就要谢天谢地了。希望我的good luck用不完，继续给我做梦的力量！

P/s: Happy Birthday “笨笨”!

shopping Spreee!~

2007-11-02T00:51:00.000+08:00

我好累！！wahhaha!! 我今天买了很多衣服喔！keke~~ SHOP 到我脚酸死了！Yanting 吵着叫我陪她去逛街，结果她没买到东西反而我却买了两件衣！BBLEAHXX! 过后约了很久没见面的cindy去买了一条 skinny jeans 然后去吃晚餐。(the jeans is damn nice! thanks babe!) 跟很久没见面的朋友聊天真的很不错，可是我这个糊涂虫却忘了把在 bkk 买给cindy 的礼物带出门！Faintzzz! HAHAHAHZ. 所以我说啊，lend me ur 'sex & the city' den i deliver ur prezzie to you ya! keke! 今天真的是太累了，在吃完晚餐后买单的时候我又忘了检查单据就付钱了。。。后来，跟服务生要回单据看一看他还以为我连五毛钱的change 都不想当小费呢。。duh.. i juz wanna chk if i paid the right amt ma. duh! Anyway, 跟yanting 和 cindy 聊天时都谈到了一些话题。。。

有问题吗？还是看不到问题在那里？是你们想太多了吧。
是我让自己想太多，还是想的太少太简单？
别把无畏的东西套在我身上，我不吃着一套。
现在很平静，不好吗？
现在的事我不能保证不会在将来会不会有变化。
这一直是我的观点，没有改变过。
我不觉得有问题，因为我酷爱我现有的自由！
我们都很了解对方那就够了。
对！这就对了！

*你可能不明白以上写的，这代表你不需要明白*

exams are officially OVER!~

2007-10-31T22:10:00.001+08:00

Hhaha i noe im crazy! I juz published an entry a few minutes ago, now im blogging again. Shld announce that EXAMS ARE OFFICIALLY OVER! No more exams for the rest of my life i hope! keke! BEN BEN is A HAPPY GAL! Im too lazy to upload pictures of recent events lah. Stuffs like Adecco's Staff's Nite, post exam dinner...all will be on facebook ya.

Holiday starts now! I need to prepare and pack my luggage for my Japan trip wif my family fr 13th Nov to 18th Nov, start tidying up my room, start keeping a lookout for jobs, start catching up all those tw ou xiang ju i missed on youtube & crunchyroll... there is sooo much things i want to do!! Im still not sure when i'll be gg back office to help out yet. Meanwhile, i juz wanna enjoy myself. Kinda lost, dunno wat to do abt the future, but i dun wan to think abt it at all until i come back fr japan. I need a break!

Anyway, i boought a super cute soft toy as a bday gift for my fren,"benben" hahah. It's orange in colour so im thinking of names for it. Hmm msg me if u have any suggestions ya. Wahahaz... Back to the prezzie, it sooo cute lah... cant let him noe wat is it yet so i cant post pic of it. hee hee.. It's so huggable and cute and bright and and and... "benben" i dun care if u like it or not hor. hahah if u dun u can alway give it back to me! keke! And rem to send me home since im so nice to u. ('',)

Okie, im getting myself busy uploading pic on facebk......shooo.

星期三，凌晨三点半

2007-10-31T21:30:00.000+08:00

我哭了，大颗大颗的眼泪流下脸颊。
又读了一本爱清小说，虽然结局始终还是美满的，
中间故事的起伏然人的心抽了一下，心仿佛碎了。
好感人的一个故事。
虽然我没谈过很多次的恋爱不过每一场都对我来
说有特别的意义。
不过故事比真实经历更加感人。
那种温柔无邪的爱，
不自视的爱，然人心碎，不顾一切的爱，
你曾有过吗？

现实社会就是如此，我们爱的短暂，
爱得放荡，爱的自由，曾爱过的也会被渐渐遗忘。

在这现实社会那来的刻苦铭心的爱情！！
就是找不到所以人人才看小说和偶像剧吗！

祝贺天底下有爱情的人珍惜爱情，没爱情的人会遇到对的人。

Buyer Behaviour & Bf

2007-10-04T23:53:00.000+08:00

Haven been blogging much lately, due to the fact that my modem was spoilt for a short period of time but well, that was fixed! Thanks goodness! Life gones on as usual -projects, work (occasionally), shopping, club (twice tis mth, aft so long of not gg), mugging (trying my v best to be motivated).

Anyway, i was studying for my Buyer Behaviour- a mkting module, and i come across some theories that i tink would apply to choosing of a bf. It's a topic on demographic and lifestyle affecting on consumer's behaviour. So here it goes:

Thoery :Lifestyle determinants affect lifestyle thus impact on behaviour.

Lifestyle determinants: Demographics, social class, motivs, personality, emotions, values, household lifecycle, culture and past exeriences.

Application: When choosing ur the other half would u tink of above characteristics? Demographics include ages, income, education level, etc. For eg, gals tend to choose guys that are slightly older cos they are able to take care of u much better and are more mature or intelligent. Income level translate into spending power and spending patterns, thus if the 2 persons wif very diverse spending habits, probs are bound to occur rite? Next is educational level, most ppl will hope that their the other half to have similar educational backgrd, it shows the level of intelligence and it affects ur careers too. Social class oso plays a role, esp if u dating a damn rich partner, the gap between 2 persons shldnt be that huge or else it would seem incompatible in many ways. Esp in lifestyle and way of thinking etc. Personality muz suit one another, u cant be two very stubborn ppl and no one is giving in during fights rite? And other stuffs such as values, cutlure and past experiences are oso impt factors. If these factors differs too much between a couple, then i tink it seriously doesnt worth the effort of being tgt.

Theory: Lifestyle determinants (those mentioned above) affect Lifestyle ( how we live, activities, interests, likes/dislikes, attitudes, consumption, expectations & feelings).

Application: i noe i make choosing a bf sound like purchasing a product but i cant help thinking that its really true that some of the stuffs are really wat that would cross the mind and tink of whether the whole relationship is gg to work. Well, its juz a interesting finding that i have!!! ahahahz. okay maybe i study until my head gone bonkers already! hahaha oh ya, wats more is that my bf suits me pretty well.

* i had fun on vanessa's bday! its good to have good frens around. And it feels good to be sober, to dance not becos you are high or drunk but becos u enjoy dancing! I miss clubbing but i dun like getting myself pissed drunk. Gone past the days i wan to see myself hugging the toilet bowls. It feels good to enjoy the nite without the bad effects.
~I LUV MY GALFRENS!~

Wedding bells..

2007-09-16T11:29:00.000+08:00

NonoNo... im not the one getting married.. My sis is the one planning to get married next yr. Well, the dates are not set yet but i can hear the wedding bells ringing already. I have like all the wedding mags @ home lah, fr Female Brides, Her World Brides, Style Weddings, Bliss weddings...... Haven been reading normal mag for awhile recently. Wahhahz. BUt looking at those glossy pages of flowing white gowns and dresses..its soooo preettyyyyyy.....!!!! hahahhaz NOt that i wan to get married so soon, but its juz nice to look at how ppl do their weddings stuffs. Wat i can say is, judging from wat i see from those flashy pages, getting married is EXPENSIVE! My sis haven really started anything yet so not much is being spent yet. BUt everything fr the dinner, to the location (restaurant or hotel) to picture taking for the wedding album, to the invitation cards, flowers, decor, wedding gown, jewellery, make up...the list goes on. i nearly fainted. But its such a happy occasion, and its every gal's dream to have their perfect wedding. The way they want it, choosing fr the colours, to the theme to the flowers and most imptly the gown. woo hoo!~OKay, i cant tell u anything more cos my sis haven really planned anything yet. hahhaz plus she wanted something simple and no frills, so no glamour lor. BUt she isnt the glamour puss kind anyway. hahahz my sis is the super practical kind, wahhah. Nonetheless, im gg to get involved and make her a pretty bride. Im so excited though its probably a yr later when she finally get married. hahahz =)

Enuf of wedding bellss... i went ktv wif rick the other den dinner joined by geri @kushinbo! hahah u cant imagine how much i ate. Non-stop for 1.5 hrs.. yummy yummy....!!! "Dong Dong Dong kushibo....".... when u hear this song playing in the restaurant accompanied by ringing of the bell, u would see a queue forming near one of the counters. Special dish!! its not on display for everyone, u gotta queue to get it and there is limited qty. Cool rite! wahhahaz. A very yummy affair. heezz.. And i finally get to fulfill my dream, i went wala wif rick on fri nite, have my fav WALA WINGS. i finished like the entire plate lor. YUMMY! Vodka sprite+ wala wings + live band = my all time fav!

Nuttin quite happening to my boring life recently. Hmm im waiting for the cfm of dates to meet my gals next wk so that we can do some catching up! Haven met them since the bbq @ the dam. And i want to catch the new movie by joan chen and qi yuwu, "The Home Song Stories-意". It doesnt seem like the normal commercialized kind of movie. Something diff, something meaningful. Hmmm will probably catch it wif my mum. Interested party msn me ya. =)

"Dong dong dong..kushinbo...."

闲人的第一个星期

2007-09-04T16:39:00.000+08:00

Kaiyin!!! ur chinese standard shld be better than mine leh!!! wahahhaz. Anyway, im starting to enjoy my status as a 闲人. Not so emo anymore le. Thanks to my gals!!! We had so much fun on sat during our little own personal bbq session! keke. Even the guys had fun!~ Good frens, good fun, good boyfren & good place( near my place there). wahahhaz wat more can i expect rite? keke.

Merits of being a 闲人：

Watch the 1st telecast of 娱乐百分百, i dun need to wait til wee hrs to watch the re-telecast
Aftnoon power naps!!!
MOre time to study eg. MC test tis fri (eh minusing the time i used to nap lah wahah
MOre time to do proj ( no more work commitments
MOre time to 陪my mummy dearest @ home or go shopping wif her
More time to go out but no $$$ whahhz
MOre personal time to slack

So frens, u r welcome to ask me out!!!

闲人的第一天 depressed

2007-08-31T21:53:00.000+08:00

说我是劳碌命也好，泛贱也好，我做闲人的第一天可真是让我难受得很！！昨天也算是在公司*Unofficially*的最后一天因为intern 来了，老爸也一直摧我用心的把最后一个学期念完。不过如果有需要我的帮忙时，我还是会回去的。老实说，我今天可过的很辛苦！！在家好闷哦！读课本，我读了许久还是没吸收到东西。*sighz* 读不进，头就开始痛，所以整个下午就在睡梦中度过。好可悲！！我也真受不了自己，不过也没辙呀。

我觉得我好像封闭了自己在我房这四面墙里。不太想约人出门，或者想约的人都忙得没空理会我。所以，结果就是谁都不想见了。以前做工让我觉得很充实，现在做闲人我可是无聊的很。太多时间在手中不知怎样的好好利用它。感到很悲，也没特别的原因。没心情，也没力气。闷。头也常常会疼痛。觉得身边的人越来越稀少，渐渐的少见面也慢慢的不了解不常联络。很悲，很想把自己藏起来，沉浸在那深蓝色的调调里。

不要常常以为很了解我，因为有时我更不了解自己。不要以为我每天都很快乐，我快乐的原因是身边的人带来的。

简单的说，我现在很EMO。

那天跟yanting去了一趟书局看到一本杂志刚好就谈到了人们对EMO的见解。。。

EMO对我来说就是：

心情低潮的时侯。很emotional的时侯。悲哀不开心，设么都不想做的时侯。没胃口。心痛与感动交叉的那刹那。想把自己封闭起来。脱离这现实社会。听着忧伤请歌。想到KTV唱着那些歌曲让回忆乱跑让现实暂时远离让梦想短暂实现在思绪里。

希望明天会更好。展开我闲人的开始。

以前，现在，以后

2007-08-30T00:19:00.000+08:00

人就是不知足，太多时间的时侯就觉得太闲着很无趣。
太少时间又会觉得生活太过忙碌到喘不过气。
拥有在手中的时间怎样才能最好的利用它呢？
我似乎没有答案。

时间可以分成以前，现在和未来。
以前饱含了有一些想捡回来的记忆。有甜蜜的，有悲伤的，有难忘的。
有一些地方随着岁月的变化也跟着变了，回忆也渐渐的被遗忘。
有时反它出来时，画面又清晰可见。
现在，是往往不相面对现实又不知道自己以后的路该怎样走。
以后，是见证自己达不达成所希望的成果。

~想念着以前的一些，对现在的矛盾，向往以后的未来。
参杂着甜蜜的思绪与苦涩的悲哀。~

*我告诉你一个秘密哦，我。。。我。。。。又再一次。。。恋上。。。周杰伦了。。 *

headache.tired.bringmeouttoplay.

2007-08-26T16:03:00.000+08:00

i.dunnowhyit.turnsouttisway.butimtootired.tonoeanway.
takeitorleaveitiswattheysay.doithavetoturnouttisway.

wehaveourlivestolead.sobusyineveryway.

sacrificesandcommittment.isapackagettnvgivesway.

onedayumewethey.willgoourseparateways.

sonowwepray.forthebetterortheworst.wepray.

Has been rushing projects this wk for MC. Mentally draining and physically tiring.Luckily friday aft grp discussion, i got the chance to go for a short shopping trip wif my mummy and went to the jewellery fair wif my her and my sis and future bro-in-law before a dinner treat fr my sis. And my day hasnt end yet, i went on to meet my boo & his bros- eug they all to chill out.

A long day but tat was the only day i enjoy the whole wk. Entire wk doing proj, only one day to for me to meet ppl and relax. Next wk will be better, im sure!

Im having a terrible sore throat & a bad headache. Haiz...

i cant help feeling tt my life is getting more and boring each day, juz work,sch, meet a few frens. But sometimes im juz too tired to go out. too many ppl to meet. too digusted by my own drunk look aft parties and too broke to do all the things i wish i could do. So now i lead a boring life.

me and my gals celebrating ky's bday @ amk hub (14 aug 2007)

Cineleisure KBOX (19 Aug 2007)

More Randomness

2007-08-07T23:38:00.001+08:00

Having a terrible headache now. Grrr so i decided to blog.

Headaches. Assignments. Due dates.

Long time frens. neglected. guilty.

Not so close frens. drifting apart. guilty.

New fren. Closing up. guilty.

Fren + Fren + new fren= More Frens

High tea. Tai tai. yummy.

Lunches. dinners. bdays celebrations.

Spoilt. Pampered. dotes on.

Too tired. too busy. care too much.

Tired. Sleepy. Dream.

Dream of me. you. who.

It's MY DAY!~!~

2007-07-31T23:33:00.000+08:00

hahahhaz yup I'm 22 years old already. hahahhaz i feellll soooo OLD...!!! hahahz thankies to all the dearies for the well wishes i received today. Muacks love u all for remembering this special day. aha hahhaz. HUGZZ. Cant celebrate tis yr but still i had an enjoyable day wif my boo! hahahz my boo is such a sweetie! hahhz come to sch to wait for me wif a bouquet of roses. Good boy! hahhahz muacks!!! Treated him lunch @ LingZhi, pretty nice vegetarian restaurant in town. Den went to watch movie <男儿本色>, i tink is very nice becos of all the fighting scenes!!! hahahz got nicholas tse, shawn yue and jaycee chan. Nicholas & shawn is so handsome lah, esp when it comes to fighting! i like beng beng attitude problem cops! hahahhz!!! the ending pretty sad though. Haizzz.. Well, its a Dog eat dog world out there ( fr the show). and i AGREE totally. NOt tt we cant be nice ppl but sometimes 对人家仁慈就是对自己残忍. But of cos not every case is like tt lah. hahahz juz trying to put the idea across tt there is nuttin picture perfect abt being in the real world.

i shldnt sound so skeptical abt life on my special day, duh! hahahz anyway, tml gg high tea wif my dear yanting. Yippeee! i love good food regardless of all the extra fats gaining space at my tummy. *BAH* hahhaz. All in all, im a happy gal today, thanks to all frens & my boo boo!

Some pics of today for show below:

Unimates!~

My dearest boo!~

Flowerssssss!~

Posing @ the restaurant

LingZhi Vegetarian-yummy!~

Back Home!~

NDP preview wif my Twinnie

2007-07-30T00:19:00.000+08:00

Pretty pissed wif my lappy again cos my sis juz installed a new anti-virus software and not very surprisingly probs r popping up again. Grrr.. im not gg to do anything until ah ming ge comes to fix it during the wkend. OKie. for the happy stuffs now. All thanks to my dearest twinnie, i got to watch NDP preview yst! Wif him of cos, since he is the one having the tix! hahhaz we had fun munching on the tibits in the goodie bag and taking pics of the parade plus of cos the Fireworks!!! Thks twinnie! Muacks!~ hahahz it makes me a happy happy sat. ooo. Forget to mention, my Friday was Great too. Had dinner wif val and lydia and also chosen my bday prezzie from them. Plus i met up wif Geri & Rick on wed to get my prezzie and sing ktv! Hhahaz so this wk is pretty good for me i would say. *happy contented NinG* Thanks all my dearies for all the prezzies! I really love them all!~ Muacks!~ *anyway i changed my blogskin again!*

SOme NDP preview pics!~

Happy Wkend...

2007-07-22T11:49:00.001+08:00

Happy wkend!~!~ Had my advanced bday celebration tis yr wif my dear yanting, caihong & yuling on fri. Finally had my steamboat as we changed the locationto Seoul Garden. I cant even rem the laz time i had it. hahahz probably poly days i guess when Seoul Garden is quite popular den. Hahahz anyway the pt is i had my steamboat!!! yummy yummy & cheap too. wahhahaz. And we went shopping for my bday gift. keke. Love the pressies and also those pinky items fr the rest of my uni mates-sha, yng, dia & april. Thankies dearsss!~ hahahz

We had a mini sleepover @ my place tt nite wif waffles, ice creams, white grape sparkling juice, fantastic 4 dvd and <娱乐百分百> on tv. Wonderful!~ OKay let put some pics for show:

misconception, misinterpretated

2007-07-10T09:28:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, i wondered out loud..
Is wat u see, wat u get..?
I wonder if ppl are images... images they created by themselves
If u noe them well enuf, would u say the same things, think the same things abt them
If u noe me well enuf, would u do the same as u did now.
Looking at the mirror wat did u see
Standing outside the glassbox, looking in, wat did u and i see

To those who knew, their eyes are so much clearer
To those who dont, they might nv know.
Did we tend to judge too much.. on each other..
Maybe we can cut each other some slacks and move on..
Why is tt the look in their eyes on me so wrong
Misinterpretated with their misconceptions
I dunno to hate myself or hate them for the image i have become

Maybe all along i knew..
Wat is right, wat is wrong
I only do wat makes me happy and do wat u tink is wrong
Sitting in a bus ride, i tink...
The bus is moving forward and im not..
Staying still in one spot.. have i move on?
Have i grown up to be the one i wanna be?

Why do i witness complex complications all ard me
Life of some are blessed, yet some are troubled with burdens
So give me a light on how life goes on...
They way it is or they way it used to be.

open heart.

2007-07-03T21:33:00.000+08:00

She turned to face the person speaking to her.. The sudden conversation of the topic was being brought up. Stunned... as she din expect it coming at tat moment. She looked ard searching for help. The rest are all concentrating on their own stuffs. Helplessly, she turned back to a face waiting for an ans. With an awkward shrug, she mumbled some stuffs and let it passed. A sense of guilt washed thru her. Eyes kept low, she turned back to wat she is doing originally... Not daring to have eye contact with whom she just spoken to.. A soft sighz came out from her mouth.. She decided to do something abt it..

Ppl have heart and values feelings..
__________________________________________________

Looking at pieces of papers before her.. Figures and numbers dancing in front of her.. Ard her are diff stacks of documents tied up in piles.. Running thru shakey fingers through her already messy hair, she felt anger surging thru her. And of cos abit of despair...Tidying the mess on her desk, jotting down notes, checking more docments to clear the mess. An impt phone call gave the whole mess an unexpected turn. She is on the verge of a breakdown aft feeling such intense frustration mixed with relief... And as expected, all hells break lose...

When frustrations cant be contained anymore, they burst into something else..

___________________________________________________

*tired* Yawnzz.. lend me ur shoulder to lean on...

Sometimes to make life easier, we should open our heart more......

The 345th post- Alone time

2007-06-30T14:53:00.000+08:00

Sunny breezy Saturday.... All alone at home (hmm since my dad is sleeping in his room).. A wonderful day to slack at home giving myself some "alone" time... Cleaned up my room abit as a preparation for the new sch semester starting on mon. It's a great feeling actually, alone... packing... listening to songs tt i haven really put in my playlist for ages.. hahahz yup jay chou's old albums r definitely in the list.. along with my other fav singers and their older songs tt we alway sing in ktv. Listening...humming... singing... innocent days den.. *smilez* Anyway, my room is so much cleaner now.. Esp my writing desk.. its so cluttered during the exam period and i din really clear much of it during the holidays until now.

hmmm... Watched transformers yst nite wif boo and his bros... NICE SHOW!~ hahahz i tink i very "guy" cos i like alot of guys shows. hahahahz.. humour within the actions! hahahhz. Highly recommended to watch. And i even have a few surprises seeing a few ppl! hahahz..

Anyway, i already decided.. im gg to only worked until early aug den im not working anymore. Gotta concentrate on my studies for the laz sem. heez.. I'll miss those times in the office.. "suan-ing" each other... and all those nice tea breaks and breakfasts fr cai yiyi! keke..........

kk. im gg to cont to slack the rest of my aftnoon listening to songs, surfing the net, reading my newly borrowed romance novels, watching "angel lover" on crunchyroll and catching a nap..

A wonderful saturday aftnoon all by myself.. *smilez*

*the 345th post*

hmmm so how to reply?

2007-06-25T00:06:00.001+08:00

Updates: Have been out having good meals for the past few days. Im growing so fat now, my tummy so round. DUH! hahahz Went Mango sales consecutively for a few days since the sale starts. hahahz Got 2 tops and a skirt ( and only one top is being paid by my own money!) hahahhaz Thanks my dear boo & rick kor for the sponsorship! hahahz. One more wk, and sch is good to start.. Laz sem already.... Time passed us so fast... Sighz... hmm random tots.. hahahz Anyway, was watching Initial D on tv juz now.. Jay CHow is so cuteeee! OKay, so now i feel like those poly days listening to his music ( im playing all his songs on the media player rite now!~), humming, singing.... hahhaz lovely.. those days... So many of his songs bring me so many memories.. fr poly days til.... eh hummm.. some other more memories.. hahhahaz.. I feel like im falling in love wif zhou jie lun all over again.. hahahz wat a sch gal dream. hahahz..

Some more tots: Someone emailed me the other day , asking me some qns tt i dunno how to ans.. Shld i say wat i feel or shld i say something nice.. Im not a v nice person to be exact... so go ahead tink of me as the baddie.. Sighzz... im the kind of person tt likes u mean likes u, dislike means dislike... If it clicks den it clicks.. I noe i got attitude probs at times, but i only cares to those i cared for. I noe that person meant to be good..intentions are good.. But sometimes not everyone u noe can be frens, and not every frens can be close one..same goes to not everyone will noe u well and understands u. This is juz life...The world is not perfect. Grow up and learn... Yes, im being mean again... DUH! but its a fact~ okok, wat i can say is i can try to be nice and sincere, but i dun gurantee friendship. I am juz ME, no one can change ME..

Luv Me or Hate Me.. its ur own choice.

Sunshine aft the Rain...

2007-06-16T22:13:00.000+08:00

Okay.. im over my emo period.. Back to normal days, but lesser gg out cos wanna spend more time at home to accompany my mum. Mainly work and home for these few days.. Went GSS wif yt and yuling today, i bought a top! keke! Seems quite long since i laz shop in spore.. hahahahz. We had a hearty korean lunch! Very yummy and cheap! hahahz.

Anyway, i realised time flies! In a few wks time, holidays r over and a new semester starts! And half a yr down the road, im gg to start a full time job.....hmmm... Had been so busy recently. *sighz*

My "want to do but no time to do" List ( not necessarily in that order)

Go marina south eat those $10-12 oily and hot steamboat buffet
Escape Themepark
East coast park- wanna try rollerblading although i the laz time i tried was in sec sch days hahah)
Beach! ( but my tummy too big oso lah....)
KTV

Anyone want to go with me.. let me noe ya..~ hahhahaz

Im gg off to watch my "AngeL LoveR" on crunchyroll already. TaTa...

Bundles of tots

2007-06-10T14:46:00.001+08:00

Loss of a kin makes me tink....... Death draws the living closer....... I felt closer to my cousins and aunties and uncles (my mum's side) during the wake and funeral. We alway used to take things for granted. Tinking ppl are still there though we meet them so seldom. Taking a closer look, my aunties and uncles and my grandma have aged. My 2 younger cousins have grown older, not the cute little kids they once were but growing young men in their teens. Wow, i felt old. Feel like i sudd have 2 young bros and im like the older sis now having to take care of them. Not tt i really have to juz tt is a kind of feeling tt i have now grown up and recognise the importance of family ties. In addition, really appreciate the effort and concern of many frens. How can we live life without these 2 major grp of ppl.

These few wks have been tiring, rite from the start of the holidays that marked the end of exams til now tt the exams results have been released, i haven been resting. From the bkk trip wif yt to gg back to work @ adecco to working in PC show to my grandfather's funeral. Now tt i have some time on my hands to rest. I feel oddly empty. Sometimes we walked so fast in the journey of life that when we finally got the chance to rest our feet, we felt lost in the peaceful surrounding.

Lost... in the hands of empty time.

pics from PC show

2007-06-09T22:15:00.001+08:00

Some pics fr PC show:

a package of emotions

2007-06-08T21:53:00.000+08:00

Greatly appreciated for those who came to my grandfather's wake on thurs and those pretty flowers for the wreath fr office peeps. You dunno how much gratitude i have for those who came, really quite surprised to see you all cos its maybe abit "ban dang" for some ppl. BUt u all still came! And pei me for so long. REally appreciate that my frens.......for all ur support too. Left the office in a hurry aft receiving the news on wed aftnoon. My grandfather is 87 yrs old. Good old age alot of old ppl says. There isnt any pain or stuffs like tt, he fell into a deep slp and there he goes........ Im sad, but im ok. Death is a part of the cycle of life. He is such a kind hearted well liked old man.. *sighz*

Din slp much for the past few days. Beside preparing the funeral and stuffs, results are out on the same thurs. Surprisingly, results turn out to be better than expected. *phew* but by the time i know abt my own results, it was under the least of my concern already. Glad tt all my frens oso passed all the modules and passed all hurdles pretty well. There is still SM results postponed to next wk. Moderation is on the cards, adjusting the passing mark to make it easier to pass is da bez......

Haiz. im so tired. gotta slp soon already. good nite peeps. Juz a gentle reminder, i wont be able to celebrate other ppl's bday or go other ppl's hse for the time being, chinese's taboo........some traditions thingy. hmm so ya.......... * yawnz* cya soon.

rollercoaster of emotions

2007-06-05T21:20:00.000+08:00

Experience rollercoaster ride of emotions ever since working for my laz rdshow @ the PC show. Making new frens, being angry at some, forgiven and make peace, agitation and frustration, happy memories, fun and laughters! That is wat i call a working experience. It's gg to be my laz rdshow, memorable those i experience anger surging thru me every few hrs in a day but overall, its still FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! keke........... It's wierd when u realised in the few days u can be so talkative and in sync with ppl u juz knew, looking @ each other for almost 12 hrs a day. And once the few days event ended, strangers we are again for some. For the goods, we keep in contact and the friendship blossom. For many, we would probably meet in the next possible event. Some ppl are fated to be frens, yet some are meant to be acquaintances. Oh well......

Anyway, it has been a tiring wk beside working 7 days a wk, emotionally tiring too with the results coming out tml.......... Received results for the assignments already, and while some r excellent, there are oso one tt is terribly done. Feeling of guilt weigh me down by wat had happened.........
I juz hope all goes well..........sighz........ Prayed hard!

Life is getting a tad boring?!~

2007-05-31T00:14:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i duno why i feel so emo all of a sudden, feeling like everyday is so meaningless as we keep doing the same old things day in and day out. Some says life is good when its peaceful. Some says life is too boring without crazy happenings.

Cant help feeling meaningless in life when i woke up in the morn thinking why couldnt i slp more and not go to work? Yet sometimes i luv the times im in the office doing work tat most of the time i like and a team of fun ppl that im so comfortable with.

And sometimes i see pics of other ppl and their frens......... and i search for some of my own. Friends are wierd. sometimes i feel that i have many, sometimes i feel all alone in a grp of them, sometimes i wish they understands more and vis-versa, sometimes i wish i had put in more efforts to cherish every single one of them, sometimes i wish to be all alone in my own small tiny world, sometimes im juz plan wierd and emo-ing......... with no obvious reasons.

Often, i feel that im not good enuf, i wish i could be better in every way... I wish i could be more than one person's pillar of support, somebody to tok to when u r bored, a helping hand when u need one, i wish i could be MORE.

Anyway, meeting frens chased most of my emo blues away. Celebrated belated bday dinner wif sha and the rest of the uni clique @ swensons. Even went to take neo prints! Haven take neo prints since like years ago~ hahhahz nonetheless it was fun!

Gotta work for PC show tml, double pay! yeah! im gg to be so tired tis wk working 7 days a wk.

Back from BKK

2007-05-27T23:09:00.000+08:00

Im back from my 5 days 4 nite BKK trip!~ hmm back on mon nite, back to work on tues, tat doesnt give me much time to blog since inbetween during the wk im so busy with work and meeting ppl. it feels like i have gone and come back for quite some time but in fact its juz nearly a wk. DUh! hahahz

Anyway, bought alot alot of stuffs!~ ahhahz wholesale price wholesale price!~ u can nv imagine how heavy and how many luggages me and yt brought back wif us. But of cos yt more li hai lah! hahahhz *bow*! hzhhaz It's totally a shopping trip so there isnt much for me to blog actually. Everyday, i walked until my feet are flat........hahhahaz. We eat in alot of jap restaurants- ramen, steamboat and fabulous bento sets. We done our nails pretty wif cheap manicures along wif nail arts! Bought clothes and more clothes, heels, bags, stationeries,etc......Found a shop that is like mini toons that sell all these cute stationeries and stuffs and they r all so cheap!~my goodness~

Basically, its juz like tt! Back to work on tues and have been busy everyday. Gg back to work for PC show next thurs, sat and sun that means i'll be working 7 days a wk! okie for $$ sake~ recover my money spend for the bkk trip hahahz or else i gg bankrupt liao lah hahahz..

Okie enuf said, waiting for yt to pass me the file wif the pics and i'll upload a few here.

Gg to be busy busy at work.

flying off!

2007-05-16T23:45:00.000+08:00

flying off in 7 hrs! 7.10am flight!

BKK here i come!!!!~

wif yt and dear twinnie joining fr fri onwards!

Wee!~

Exams r over!~

2007-05-16T00:57:00.000+08:00

Exams are finally over aft all these wks of mugging, not like i really did study v hard but oh well i did pretty much stay at home though.. hhahahz.. Anyway, spent a wonderful singing ktv wif yt and yuling upon completing our last paper ! yeah! i luv ktv! Have dinner wif geri and rick tgt on mon~ happy!~ cos treat fr kor again! keke!mum mum good good!

Went back at work on mon, unfamiliar faces r replaced by a few familiar ones. Haven been back for a mth. Wat i used to do have been replaced by the new gal, pretty nice young gal so im pretty much juz doing normal admin work in the office. Kinda boring but not tt im complaining much since im pretty well paid. hahahz. It's true that i like doing wat i used to do since i have doing them for half a yr already, abit weird to not do the same stuffs again in the office. Anyway, was tinking abt wat i shld really expect to look for in a job for the future. Haiz, ,maybe i shall juz tink abt it half a yr later when im abt to graduate. hmmmmmm........

Time is pretty much spend watching youtube: 热情仲夏 taiwan ou xiang ju by 郑元畅，阮经天，小鬼 and 五熊。Damn funny show and 郑元畅真的是太帅了！~
heez heezz. Pretty excited for my bkk trip! hope everthing goes well, and of cos hope twinnie can go wif us aft all. Too many complications and "suayness" for him already so i hope tt he can join us and have a good time. YEAH!~

nuttin much to blog cos everytime i have tots running thru my mind i would have the necessary materials to write it down nor do i have the time to do there, so i ended up juz updating abt my boring life......... i admit my life is boring. when holiday comes, it became like spending the days meaninglessly cos there is no sch. Plus the fact now tt im juz helping out in the office with not much responsibilities, holidays is juz spend in the office doing boring admin and paper work. So i was tinking wat does it make a diff with holidays and sch days for me? NOt much i guess. Like waking up in the morn, i dun haf the drive to do anything. Finding very purposeless.......

Hmmm im wierd........

Wait for me to be back ya!~Flying on thurs!~

Spidey 3

2007-05-03T00:46:00.000+08:00

Watched Spidey's new movie. Came to a conclusion that even the friendliest neighbourhood hero has its dark side. After all, he's human, isnt he? Wat's impt is he still goes back to the right track, the happy ending for the hero who eventually still saves the day. Dun we juz love the nice, friendly and abit nerdy Peter Parker? *smilez*

New black suit for new dark side. Doesnt everyone has a bad side too. We r humans.
Sometimes, we can get so consumed by the "evil" or "anger" tat controlled our actions.
Humans r vulnerable. Vulnerable to getting hurt, vulnerable so we seek to self- protect, vulnerable as we fear we r losing the things and people we hold dear, vulnerable to losing.

Dark. It's good to know sometimes that life isnt perfect for everyone. Ppl screw up, like you and me. I rem the many times that i feel so "evil" or "mean" cos i was so bloody pissed off or so angry that i can feel anger surging thru my veins. I wish i had more self-controlled than tt.
I guess its juz within us. Our greatest enemy is ourselves. Dun we juz wish tt we r all good ppl wif the greatest personalities? So cheers for those who has always been good, and for those who are trying and determined to be good.

Like wat Spidey said in the movie, we do have a choice. Juz gotta make the right one.

女人是感性的

2007-05-01T02:28:00.000+08:00

恋上《大唐双龙传》里的寇仲和玉致的爱情故事。
女人始终是感性的。我上网到了youtube 看了很多
《大唐双龙传》的video clips，看到不知不觉的
眼泪由眼眶而出，留了下来。
相爱却不能在一起应该是最让人痛彻心扉的吧。

这可是第nth 部戏让我流下热泪了。说我不正常也好
我还蛮喜欢这种被戏里的剧情感动到流泪而心痛的感觉。
人始终是有感情的，我喜欢在我一个人的时侯，带着淡淡
的悲伤，而享受被感动的心情。
现实生活中或许很难有那么戏剧化的片段吧。

负有感情的人大概都很多愁善感。
人与感情是多么难理解的事情。
为了找有关戏的video clips 我无意中找到了另一部戏，
《律政新人王》也是林峰主演的戏的主题曲。
超好听的！最近恋上广东歌。
感情丰富，歌词贴切，附有意境，真是耐人寻味。
特别有感觉。

好了，又是我一篇乱写一通的“健宁论”，非一般人看得懂。
明白者可就真的可以做我的知己了！哈哈哈。

Photos fr Boo's Hp

2007-04-22T22:56:00.000+08:00

Photos photossss fr my boo's hp (fr eh very long ago til recent ones)~~

Xiao lan & me

Me & my boo (CNY)

Hair before

My new hairstyle!~(current)

My fav past time: SLEEP zzzzZZZ

Okie...... enuf of "zi lian-ness", its time to STUDY! I am so nua, shld really buck up already.

1st paper starts on the 24th....followed by 27th den 30th before the fearful SM on 11th May.

Haiz........It's *mugging* time...............

Bkk trip!~

2007-04-17T18:22:00.000+08:00

Updates:

The study break is spend studying (hahha yup!~)!~ The only few digression is gg ktv wif rick kor and geri @ marina sq heezz and gg to bukit timah area to study wif "daddy" yingda the other day. THe rest of the time im so guai lor!~!~ wahhahahz. U can see how determined i am to scrimp & save for my BKK trip wif yt!~ Juz the 2 of us!!! The air tix has been bked, hotel oso has been cfmed! Exactly one more mth to our BKK trip!~ im soooooo excited!!! i juz hope i have enuf money to spend there.. But at least i noe tt i have my job back lah~ hahahz so happy to ans cai yiyi's call tis aftnoon!! im so worried tt i'll be jobless during the sch holiday den i really have to find a way to survive liao. At least i noe im wanted and needed in the office where all are familiar faces. *smilez* Guess becos there would be no more intern or temp left in the office fr next mth onwards thus having me back in the office is needed. Dun need to retrain ppl and rehire ma Plus so shou liao le. I guess its a blessing ma. So i can spend more in BKK and noe tt i can still earn it back!~!~

I shldnt be too excited for the trip or else i'll be so distracted fr my studies. I juz hope i can score pretty well tis sem ya. HOPE & PRAY since i have more time to study compare to laz sem where i almost worked thru my study break leaving one wk to study.

JIA YOU !!!!

"Friends, sometimes u tink u understand them & vice versa, yet many times a misunderstanding or confusion would spoil some. Choose only those tt stands by you and understand you."

Bkk trip determined

2007-04-11T01:31:00.000+08:00

The long awaited trip........BKK~ i want to go!!! Haven really cfm it but im *determined* tt it works out well tis time rd.

Even if i have to scrimp and save like hell , i still want to go and shop like hell there!

Anyway, last lec of the sem is officially yst Tues (since now is already 11 april).
Means the start of Study Break, means i really gotta study and not laze ard.
Gosh, why is my bed so appealing and comforting????
Yawnz i hope i buck up soon. hurr

Not gg back to the office at the time being already. They hired a new payroll asst contract

basis one. Let's see how long the new gal laz ba. Im not being mean lah juz tt everytime they

hire one left aft one or two wks de. Am i gg to be jobless soon?? hurr. I'll worry abt that
aft the exams den. Hurr. Maybe i shld start to look for new jobs already hmmm

I got plenty of plans for the holiday. Every holidays i have plans but nv once i really fulfill all the things that i want to do. Grrrrr..... Let's juz hope tis holiday i can ya.

Some pics fr MOS the other Sat nite.

ME-> gotta start being a mugger. Grrr dun i juz hate tt.......bleahx..

UPdates

2007-04-07T00:27:00.000+08:00

Haven been slping much lately...... But finally handed in all individual projs, left 2 grp proj that are relatively easier to handle. YEAH!~ but its also time for exams. I have submitted my schedule for work, not gg back to the office after next wk cos im gg to concentrate on my studies. Dun i so dread exams.........haiz........

Anyway, happy stuffs first. Updates from way hmm sometime back i tink. Went to ktv pub wif office peeps aft welfare dinner. FUN! hahhaz den also celebrated lydia's bday! Gave her a surprise during midnite>Aint we so sweet? heez.. Dinner tgt on her actual day too. Hmm and i went clubbing wif Cindy, Liangjie, Brad and his fren to MOS the other sat. All thanks to Rick kor for his chivas and vodka. Keke. Have a pretty nice time tt nite. And all these events, im still waiting for my photos!!!! Peeps, if u r reading tis, send me the pics soon ya!!

Other than all those,Boo have bought a few good dvd frm mysia hahahz so he is alway watching some show when he's over my place. Juz watched 300 with him juz now. And i aspire to be a Spartan! hahahhaz....... Stress is lessen and schedule is less tight, gg back to the office lesser already, spent more time at home to replenish my energy. Well my average amt of slp per day for the past mths is probably like 4 or 5 hrs daily? Hmm except for the wkends. Duh, my life is sad huh.

Nuttin much to blog, Yes i have been pretty temperamental recently. Oh man, juz read my posts and u will noe. You can practically see the chain of emotions. And now tt the sem is ending and most projs are done, my emotions are in a more stable stage than before. Phew~ finally rite?! hahahz i tink so too seriously.. I changed a new blogskin and im damn happy that tis skin also allow the display of chi characters!!! Means i can cont to blog in chi in the future! And i found a new way to put in songs. For an computer/IT idiot.......tis is sort of an accomplishment. hahaz so i put in a new song.......NoNoNO.is not from Fahreheit (fei lun hai).hahahz although initially i wanted to. But i put in tis new song by yuan ruo lan & Anthony. Title: 99 fen de xing fu (99 分的幸福）. Pretty nice song i would say. Play it and let me noe ya. =)

Ganbate Ning!!! and all those having their exams soon!

心理不平衡

2007-03-27T23:55:00.000+08:00

今天又交了一份作业。在两天半的时间内做好它。最近心情烦躁，睡眠不足，功课压力大。这些都让我差一点喘不过气。我累了。人生太多不平衡了。平常心，我没有，也做不到。想把自己的一切做得更好，不过我又失败了。生活的平衡，我始终找不到。

我很喜欢佩芬的节目：简单就是美。今天她在节目说了类似这样的一句话：“我们常常批评人生的不完美，却没有停下脚步反省一下自己。我们应该停下来，看看身边的人与事，了解了自己所要的是设么后，才继续往前走。”

有个人曾经也更我说过类似的话不过情景不一样。哈哈哈。那是一番要我死心的话。不过把那句话用另一个角度看的话，它是很有意义的。

"Do not run thru life so fast that u forget, not only where you have been but also where you r going. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savoured. Each step on the way, think twice n treasure it."

不是因为想那个人才想起这句话，是因为跟今天写的主题很贴切。况且，那个人也应该忘了他曾经讲过这句话吧。哈哈哈。

这几天觉得生命很累人。跟时间赛跑，跟自己的能力比赛。差一点就要精神分裂了。
人生是公平的吗？有得就有失吧。我要战胜的应该不是别人而是自己。要赢得自己，才能有勇气继续下去。

累了，头昏脑胀，一再的想放弃。咬紧牙根，继续往前走，为了前景和未来。
未来。一个不是很遥远的世界。一个充满期待和梦想的地方。。不过，一切会如当初想象的一样吗？未知数。

累了，该做梦了。

SM finally over

2007-03-23T00:14:00.000+08:00

Finally handed in the stupid Sm assignment on wed.........my dark eye rings are all becos it...

i have to much things to say but prep talk aft prep talk, i guess is still ultimately my prob and is up to myself to solve it.

Happy stuffs next, the office peeps juz fly off to Bkk tis evening. Tml will be temp's heaven! hhhahahz..slack slack slack. i hope janet dun leave too much things for me to do in the office tml . hahhaz. Hope they buy back alot of stuffs for me hahahahz cos i have been reminding them to buy me things since early in the wk!!!!! hahahhaz hope i wish i could go along duh.......

Anyway, i need to replenish my slp.....nitez.

STRESSED!~

2007-03-19T01:51:00.000+08:00

STRESSED!!~ i noe i scream and shout. i flare up my temper and i cried....

Feeling the whole is unfair and why am i squeezing my barely there intelligence and killing all my brain cells to do a stupid 4000 words assignment for my Strategic Managment module on a case study on GE! duh.....

WHo says studying is easy........grrrrrrrrrr..........

So stressed that i dun enuf time, so stressed that i still gotta work though i still luv my work, so stresssed that i might not even be correct in my analysis of the case study.... but lucky with the help of frens (ting, yuling, and ah hong), we "fight" tgt......

Beneath everything that i felt so extremely unhappy about and the so call "imbalance" and negative stuffs running thru my head, feeling the world is unfair and im unlove with low intelligence..........boils down to my attitude, according to my boo boo who noes me so well.....

Yup, i gotta admit it but i juz dun like to. It's the ego. plain and simple. I dun like to study, simply said, i dun put much effort in studying activities such as studying for exams, doing assignments etc. I rather work, shop, club, slp or watch drama. Basically i work more than i study. But im not stupid, i make sure i pass or score a credit. But damn my ego for being big, that i cant stand to lose or feel stupid for my insignificant grades. But tt doesnt apply for all modules. I noe my limits and my standard, so i gauge my grades. Still, it feels kinda demoralising when u realised u r juz not as smart, (nevermind the fact that i dun study much...yes i noe is the attitude....grr.).

And if i noe u put in alot of effort in doing ur work, even if u win , i respect u, cos u deserved it!!! Pat on the back for both yuling and yanting who score stars for consistency of hardwork. But i dislike ppl who hides their effort and compare their grades or perf. Damn! Didnt i mention a million times that i din do extremely well!~!~ Compare openly lah. duh cos i DUN LIE. Doesnt mean that im proud of my grades that are lower than others. But i understand how much effort and intelligence translate to the final grading. So i guess i have been doing ok for my kind of standard. Whahahhahz........................ but not good enuf to compare wif others.

Duh. Nevermind my rambling... Juz some thoughts fr the past wk due to the intense stress im experiencing, i think the wires in my brain are tangled.........

okie gotta slp....cos as usual, mon is a working day. same as wed.. and yes.. fri...

my assignments are killing me!~

2007-03-11T21:34:00.000+08:00

My assignments are killing me! It's terrible.. extremely terrible.. i rather work OT every single day than complete the Strategic Mgt (SM) assignment simply becos i have no idea what im typing! Grrrrrrrrr............ Dun even have the time to watch "300" wif my dear boo boo.. but he watched wif his camp mate already. I wanna be a spartan!!!! Strong & mighty! hhahahaz.. My boo boo da bez cos even if im too busy, too nua, too broke to go out. He comes over to accompany me. hahaz but u noe wat he does.. he practices his mahjong skills wif my sis's bf and my parents! hhahahz But of cos we manage to watch vcd "Just my luck" by linsay lohan. *smilez* maucks boo boo!

I tink i really have to make sure i dun slp so much tonite. (well, wat do u tink?) grr. Gotta complete more of my stupid assignment!!!! EG assignment not done yet also. Im so dead tis sem.. im like very dead every sem... my goodness.. Too much fun already. ahhahaz speaking of fun, I "crashed" someone's bday party laz fri! hhahha. Cos got food ma..."dino" is always IN for free food... heez. One of kors canididate celebrating his bday, so kors bring me along. heezzzz. and guess wat, i even saw Sophia there!!!! So "qiao" , she is a fren of the bday boy!

Pics as below: (",)

With the bday 弟弟

Representatives fr Events! keke.

THE “自恋兄妹”！！~

Going back to my assignments. BYe!

我永远做不到你要的我

2007-03-04T21:46:00.000+08:00

祸根是在很久很久以前栽种下来的。说错的人也只有是我吧。固执是我的本性。
我以为，一直以为，自己已经尽力了。可是我再一次错了。我很努力很努力的
摆脱一年多前的我。我认为我做到了。我努力的想做最好的自己，我以为我进
展的很不错。我很尽力的想做很乖的女儿，很能干的下属，很合作的工作伙伴，
很够义气的朋友，很体贴的女朋友。可是，我想我太抬举自己了。
说到底，我的本性还是没改。一样的火爆，一样的任性，一样的自以为是。

有一些人，一些东西，一些友情，我紧握着它们的线，希望有一天我会被承认
为很好的朋友，带给他们很不错的回忆和欢笑。不过，你会回想一下这样做到
底值不值得。慢慢的你就相通了，你不可能是每个人的最完美。如果做不到那
个人的完美，就可以把那条线剪断，一点也不应该觉得可惜。有些朋友，很
遗憾的只可以是我们人生中的过客。不管你多么想要他或她留下，不该勉强
的就应该让它随缘吧。

我一直把你当作生命中的“应该"。。。我想也没有人可以比的上你对我的好。
我很努力的想做你要的我，可是我的本性超越了我。抱歉和遗憾你大概也
听了无数次。对你来说也变得没有意义。愧疚。我真的以为我做的很好了。
可是我再一次错了。朋友又占了上风，把你比了下去。友情胜过爱情吗？
是本性吧。纳闷，我想把自己关在家里。不必挂个笑脸给人看，不必把
忧愁藏起来。我的错让我跟不能面对自己，因为太过了解是自己的错而
并非其他原因。别人都是无辜的。。。我是最该祸首。难过是因为我还
是做不到你要的我。

人还是平平凡凡的过的好吧，那也是一种幸福。